Pillow Grand Pree
by CyberSerpent
Summary: **CH.12UPLOADED**omg...I UPLOADED AGAIN! IT'S FINALLY SUPERMAN vs. GIANT!!! All Hiko-fans... GO SEE! >DDD lots more pillow madness desu! >3
1. Round One

Disclaimer- our favorite part, yes!  I _do _own Rurouni Kenshin and I _do _own three-fourth of the world!

A/n- got this inspiration from Kaoso Buraindo's Pillows are Dangerous, the Gundam Wing version of this all-around wacked out fun!  If you liked reading this, then I guarantee you more fun from Buraindo-san's ficcy!!!  Now, sit back, relax, and enjoy the weirdest side of all your favorite RK characters you've ever seen!

Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND ONE 

Sanosuke Sagara yawned and scratched the back of his head.  He was never one for an early waker but today, he strangely awoke at around six AM, when even the Kamiya dojo was quiet.  Another scratch on the head, and it hit him.  Today was when he supposed to take Kenshin to his local gambling joint!  Sanosuke leapt up and pulled on his jacket and bandanna, all the while making his way to the door.

~*~

Kenshin Himura turned on his futon and murmured sleepily.  A finger prodded his arm again, and Kenshin said something unidentifiable.

"Kenshin!  Wake up!" Sanosuke's deep voice said impatiently.  

The Battousai groaned and still refused to get up.

With a devilish light in his eyes, Sanosuke grabbed the pillow from under Kenshin's head.

"Hey!" Kenshin protested feebly, his head connecting with the bed.

Sanosuke then resorted to the unmentionable—he whacked the Hitokiri Battousai's head with the pillow.

~*~

Kaoru Kamiya was awakened by a loud cry coming from Kenshin's bedroom.

"Uhm?" she sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.  There came another yell, and the _foomph _of something soft against something hard.

"Ow Kenshin you *******!!!!" 

Kaoru blinked.

_Whap._

"That _hurt, _Sano you *****!!"

Kaoru blinked even more rapidly.

~*~

Yahiko Myoujin stirred in his futon, and he suddenly heard Kaoru shout something far off.  The boy sprang up.  If someone injured his teacher…

But no.  The shout was of amusement.  There was abruptly the noise of someone being tackled to the floor, and then some "foomphing" sounds.

Yahiko got up and dressed quickly.  He wanted to see what the excitement was all about—and fast.

~*~

  


"Take _that _you Bottle-site!" Sanosuke awarded Kenshin with a heavy hit to the side of his head.

Kenshin growled, "Oh yeah?  Get this, Zanzit!"

"Don't leave me out!  Take the Kamiya pillow maneveur!" Kaoru leapt in and beat the side of her pillow against Sanosuke's hair.

"Owch, crap, jou-chan, the least you could do is hold it back a bit!  _Some _lady!" Sanosuke laughed, and shoved his pillow into Kaoru's face.

"Shaddup, Sanosuck!" Kaoru pushed him away and stuck her pillow in his hair.

"Oh that didn't sound right, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin laughed, and absent-mindedly threw his pillow at the door, hoping to break up the fight between the two.

_Foomph._

Kenshin turned around, befuddled.  Pillows werent supposed to go _foomph _as they hit the door.  

Yahiko glared at Kenshin, a red pillow mark right splat on his face.

"Oro?"

~*~

Sanosuke gave out an uncivilized war cry and slammed Kenshin over the head with his pillow.

Kenshin swept away and tripped Sanosuke with his sock-clad feet, whipping his face to the right all the while with his pillow.

Sanosuke growled, "Oh you're asking for it now, Bot-top-sight!" and swung his pillow at Kenshin's face.

Meanwhile, Kaoru was whapping Yahiko with the pillow, trying to hold him back.

"Lemme at him!  The jerk hit me first!" Yahiko howled, and clawed uselessly at Kenshin's so-near-yet-so-far backside.

Kaoru had him in a strangle hold with her pillow, and was saying thru gritted teeth, "Kso Yahiko he didn't do it on purpose!  Besides, if you go against you'll be smushed!  And…" she grinned, "I betcha can't even beat me."

"Oh _yeah?!?!_" Yahiko whirled around and slapped Kaoru's head with a pillow he recently picked up on the ground.

Kaoru fought back with a well-placed kick at Yahiko's rear, then smashed his head in with her pillow.  Whilst he moaned, she stood on top of him, one feet placed triumphantly upon his back.

Yahiko groaned and rubbed his buttocks, then grinned.  He rolled over and smacked Kaoru's stomach as hard as he can with his pillow.

Kaoru gasped, the wind knocked out of her, and was rewarded with Yahiko's front kick at her face.

"Owwww…izzat a way to treat you teacher?" Kaoru complained, and Yahiko snorted.

"Teacher?  You're just a substitute."

~*~

At long last, way past the six AM, the people in the Kamiya dojo finally ceased their battle of more than two hours.  

Kenshin's long orange hair was untied, and he was sitting in a corner of his once-organized room, panting.

Sanosuke is now using his bandanna to wipe his forehead, and practically drowning in sweat.

Kaoru was clutching her heart, taking in air in short sharp gasps.

Yahiko had staggered out a few moments earlier, out to run some errand Kaoru had ordered him to (under the idea that a _girl _beat him might come out into the open if he doesn't).

"Oroooo…" Kenshin moaned, and leaned his head against the wonderfully cold surface of the wood used to plaster his room.

Sanosuke retied his bandanna and was now fanning his jacket out (which was drenched in perspiration).

Kaoru once again attempted to stand up, but fell back down almost immediately.

Yahiko returned, with a small bag of whatever Kaoru told him to buy and—

Kaoru made a face.  "Megumi-san?"

Yahiko rolled his eyes, "I ran into her at the road."

Megumi stared at the sight which laid before her.  "Ken-san?  What happened to you?"

Kenshin tried to smile at her, but only a weak cough came out.  "Daijobu de gozaru, arigatou."

Megumi looked at his skeptically, then turned to face Sanosuke.  "And you, tori-atama, whatever happened to your hair?  It looks even more mussed up."

"Shut it." Sanosuke muttered, and hung his jacket on a hook.

Kaoru then stumbled up, and held her hand out to Yahiko.  "The goods?"

"Yeah, yeah." Yahiko mumbled, and dumped the whole bag's contents into Kaoru's outstretched hands.  It was a bottle of aspirin.

Kaoru popped the whole bottle into her mouth, and downed it without any liquid.

Megumi stared at her.  "And it seems like our little raccoon has gotten even weirder."

"Quiet." Kaoru murmured, and screwed the cap back on.  "Here." She tossed the empty bottle to Yahiko.  "Throw it away.  And get me some tofu too from the market."

"Oh gee thanks, busu." Yahiko sulked, and went back outside.

Megumi then turned away from Kaoru and faced Sanosuke instead.  "You.  Stand up."

"Oh now what?" Sanosuke grumbled, but stood up anyway.

Megumi pointed at the door, "Go.  Take a bath, for goodness's sake.  You're stinking up the room."

Sanosuke glared daggers at her.  "Oh yeah?  What about your darling 'Ken-san'?  he was fighting too, remember!"

Megumi rolled her eyes, strolled to Kenshin, grabbed his sleeve, and sniffed (evoking an "Oro?").   she then straightened up, and proclaimed.  "Nope.  All I smell is the Kenshin scent, which is what I long for every day."

Kenshin was blushing a tomato red.  Kaoru was also red, but for a different reason.

Sanosuke rolled _his _eyes at her.  "Talk about favoritism."

"You don't have a clue.  Now, march.  C'mon, hup two three four!  Lift that leg!" Megumi instructed, and followed a reluctant Sanosuke outside the dojo.

"Well, that was…exciting." Kaoru said blandly, and resorted to straightening her ponytail.

"Hai, most definitely." Kenshin agreed, nodding.

Kaoru then looked at Kenshin and smiled, he smiled back.

Yahiko popped his head in, "Oi busu I got the tof—" he stopped.  Then grinned.  "Oops, sorry if I ruined your 'moment'…"

"Gwa!  Get out!" Kaoru cried, jumping up and shooing him out.

Kenshin grinned and settled back.  Sessha wa rurouni.Well, sessha wa can get used to this.

A/n- grins her head off oh boy.  That was fun.  If I get hyped enough (*cough*reviews*cough*), I just might continue on this ficcy with ROUND TWO!  Perhaps a pillow fight of the Juppon-Gattana (oh boy.  Watch Yumi scream her head off as Kamatari whap her over the head, sending an array of black hair cascading down her shoulders, and evoking a new love in Shishio's heart—now _that _I would like to see!), or maybe a strange all-star FOOD fight!  (watch Shishio cry out in rage as Yahiko add another "palm tree" made in whipped cream to his bandaged head, or Enishi laughing maniacally as he splattered the words Jinchuu onto Kenshin's back with bagels)  

Anyway, do any of you perhaps watched the RK episodes 28-31?  I have the DVD—check out the scene where Sanosuke just wakes up!  His hair's all messed up!  I was laughing like mad at it and my sister had to stuff a sock in my mouth to shut me up (ok well maybe not a sock…).

Later dayz!

CyberSerpent .~


	2. Round Two

Disclaimer- I don't really think this is necessary, do you?  I mean, I'm obviously not Watsuki-sama himself…

A/n- alright, you've groaned, you've laughed, and you've pined.  So now it's time for…**Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND TWO**!!!!

Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND TWO 

It was early Saturday morning, and Chou was already "up and at 'em".  He was getting to ready to go to a Japanese sword con, and could hardly contain his excitement as he sheathed his beloved swords.  Then a knock sounded at his door.

"Nyeh?" he opened it, and revealed a rumpled-looking Kamatari.  His kimono (this time blue with pink blossoms) was sliding off his shoulder, and he was panting.  Chou made a face.  "Damn, Kama, you look like crap."

"Thanks for the compliment, Chou-mein." Kamatari snapped back, and then retained his serious expression.  "I need help."

"What for?" Chou asked, irritated.  He was missing precious moments when he could be admiring exquisite rare swords.

"For _this_!!!" Kamatari suddenly whipped out a pillow from behind him and slammed Chou over the head with it.

"Owwww!!!  Dammit you fag what was that for?" Chou complained, rubbing his scalp (how he reaches it thru all that hair I do not know).

Kamatari grinned happily at him.  "Tee-hee.  We're having a pillow fight over at Shishio-sama's room.  Come on over."

"Shishio-sama???" Chou gaped.

~*~

"You and your stinkin Shin-Fart, Usui!" Yumi yelled, whamming her pillow to the blind swordsman's head.

"I can hear your every move, night-bitch!" Usui cried back, and stabbed her on the chest, just below the neckline, with his pillow (which was impaled on his sword-thingy).

Yumi and Usui carried on at the back, and Shishio was engaged in a fierce battle with Houji.

"You're supposed to be my _dog!_" Shishio roared, and whipped Houji's face sideways.

"Dogs _bite_!" Houji retorted, and received another pillow-slam in return and a snarled, "Bite _this_!"

Soujiro, meanwhile, was playfully whapping around with Anji.  Occasionally Soujiro would hit Anji hard and then Anji would hit back harder, and so on.  But mostly it was just good-natured banter.  "So, Anji-san, do these pillow fights happen often?" Soujiro said almost lazily as he lightly hit Anji on his head.  

"No." Anji shook his head, and hit Soujiro's left shoulder.  "This should be labeled a phenomenon."

Soujiro smiled, and then meeped as he was hit over the head—hard.

"Hey Sou-sou-chan!  Don't just stand there! Have some fun!!" Kamatari laughed, and tackled Soujiro again.

Chou was being shaken around by Anji because of an unsuccessful attempt to tackle him like Kamatari did Soujiro.

Yumi yelped as Usui stabbed her again in the small of her back, and she whirled around, growling, when Shishio slammed into her.

"Yaaaaaiiiii!" she screamed and glared daggers at Houji, "Fine way to treat your superiors!"

Houji looked back at her innocently, whapping his pillow endlessly on Soujiro's head ("Ow!  Ow!  Ow!  Ow!  Ow!").

Shishio stood up, murder in his eyes, and was about to stalk back to Houji when Yumi stopped him with a wham on his palm-tree-hairstyled head.

"Yumi?" Shishio's eyes widened, and grinned.  "Fine then.  Play it that way, wouldja." He awarded Yumi with a playful slam on her chest.

Yumi gasped for breath, then recovered with a quick blow to the right shoulder of Shishio, and leapt up.

Shishio dragged her back down, and kissed her.  

"Gwa!!!!" Kamatari shrieked, and yanked Yumi off Shishio.  "Keep yer lips off my man!"

Yumi glowered at Kamatari, "Excuse me but, _your _man?"

"You heard me right!  _My _man!" Kamatari plopped down beside Yumi and stuck his tongue out.

Shishio stared at both of them incredulously, then did something very OOC.  He did a backwards-crab-crawl.

And smart of him, too, before Kamatari and Yumi get full-fire.

"Take this, you whore!" Kamatari screamed, jumping on Yumi and stuffing his pillow into her open mouth.

"MMMPH!" Yumi bit down hard on Kamatari's hand, and he immediately released his hand.  "Geroff!!!"

"I'd like to see you try and make me!" Kamatari spat, "Eat pillow!" he once again attempted to drive his pillow into Yumi's mouth.  

But this time Yumi was ready for him.  She rolled away and tripped Kamatari, pausing to witness the surprise in his eyes, then managing to reward him with a pillow-punch.  "Take _that, _you homo!"

"So!  Call me homo, didja?" Kamatari growled, and leapt on Yumi again, this time sparing no mercy, whamming her head left-to-right, then right-to-left.

"Gah!  Hands _off!_" Yumi growled, and shoved Kamatari off-balance.

"Woah!  Some lady!" Kamatari stood up, unruffled, and struck a pose, "I figure this body would look better than yours?"

Yumi grinned sickly.  "No breasts."

~*~

Soujiro stared at this "cat"fight.  "Um, Kamatari-san?"

"What???" Kamatari grunted back as he pinned Yumi down with his pillow.

"I think you should have a look at Shishio-sama's room." Soujiro motioned with his head at the room.

Kamatari stopped trying to suffocate Yumi and did as he was told.  He looked around the room.

The usual neat four-poster bed was rumpled, the sheets were yanked off, the matress was dented, and the covers was pulled half-off.  Tons of torn pieces of fabrics lay strewn across the carpet (which was actually stained with blood at places Kamatari and Yumi had fought), and everyone except Soujiro, Yumi, and him were sprawled on the floor, panting.

Shishio fanned himself, "F-fifteen minutes…" he choked out, still fanning.

Houji checked his watch.  "We only fought for fourteen minutes and fifty-nine seconds, Shishio-sama." He reported.

"Oh well that's a relief." Shishio snapped.

Usui had taken off his blindfold and was squeezing the sweat out of them.  

Anji had also taken off the white cloth that was usually tied around his head, and was copying Usui.

Chou was checking his watch, and turning white.

"What's up, Chou-mein?" Kamatari piped up.

"It's past entrance time for the Japanese sword con I was supposed to go today." He was still staring at his watch, willing it to turn back time.

Yumi snorted.  "Swords again?" then she pushed Kamatari off.  

"Oh.  Well, too bad." Kamatari shrugged.

Chou stared at Kamatari in disbelief.  "Is that all?  _Oh well_???" 

Kamatari rolled his eyes, "Is there an echo in here?  YES I said oh well."

Chou glared at Kamatari, murder in his eyes (kindov a mutant version of Shishio…::snickers::), "It's not _just _a sword con to me, it's my life!  What would you say if you found out you had a date with Shishio-sama—" "WHAT?!?!" "—sorry Shishio-sama, just an example—but you also found out that you're _late _for it???"

Kamatari replied, starry-eyed, "That wouldn't be possible because I would arrive five hours earlier!"

Chou sighed.

A/n- well?  You like?  Is the Kenshin-gumi version better?  What would it be like if the Oniwa Banshuu joined in?  Would Aoshi still be his dark n silent self if Yahiko super-glued a glob of tapioca pudding onto his otherwise perfect hair?  What would Misao do?  More laughs and craziness are guaranteed later on!

Later dayz

CyberSerpent .~

PS. Be sure to vote in the next chapter!

PPS. Ignore the big gap please…it got there by accident!  Honest!


	3. Help!

Disclaimer- maybe if I owned RK, I wouldn't be in a public school

A/n- I need helllllllllllp!!!  I dunno what to do for the next chapter of Pillow Grand Pree!  So, please review and tell me whatcha think should be in the next chapter!

CHOOSE ONE FROM BELOW:

1. Kenshin-gumi

2. Juppon-Gattana

3. Oniwa Banshuu

4. The Six Comrades (Enishi's Jinchuu group)

5. Kenshin-gumi and Juppon-Gattana

6. Kenshin-gumi and Oniwa Banshuu

7. Kenshin-gumi and The Six Comrades

8. Kenshin-gumi and Juppon-Gattana and Oniwa Banshuu

9. Juppon-Gattana and The Six Comrades

10. Juppon-Gattana and Oniwa Banshuu and The Six Comrades

11. Oniwa Banshuu and Juppon-Gattana

12. Oniwa Banshuu and The Six Comrades

13. Kenshin-gumi and Juppon-Gattana _and _Oniwa Banshuu _and _The Six Comrades

14. Other (please state the specific group, you may also choose one-on-ones, like Enishi vs. Shishio…whoa…)

CHOOSE ONE MORE FROM BELOW:

a. pillow fight

b. food fight

c. food+pillow fight

d. karoake tournament

e. DDR tournament

f. Other (please state the specific fight/contest/et cetera)

CHOOSE ONE MORE FROM BELOW:

(1) Friendly fight

(2) Fierce all-out battling

(3) Life-or-death

(4) Other (state whatever you want)

CHOOSE ONE MORE AGAIN (gawd this is getting tedious…):

(a) Process of elimination 

(b) One-on-one

(c) Free-for-all

(d) Team battle

(e) Other (state please)

Okay, now write your choice in the pretty l'il box below! For instance, if you want the Oniwa Banshuu, pillow fight, life-or-death, and free-for-all, then put 3, a, (3), (b), oki? Don't forget the parathesis!  They're very important!  And try to keep em in order, it'll make it easier for this little poor authoress!

As for the others, example, if you want just Kenshin vs. Kaoru (hohoho…), food fight, fierce all-out battling, and one-on-one, then put: Kenshin vs. Kaoru, b, (2), and (b). Oki?  Everyone get it?  Kewlios!

So just put your wonderful (?) choice in the review box and shoot away!

Later dayz and happy fightin!

CyberSerpent .~


	4. Round Three

Disclaimer- is this really neccesary? I mean, this is called _fan_fiction.net right? So…

A/n- I thought and I thought.  And then I thought some more. Okay, so now I know what you guys want! But, you guys only had a taste of the Juppon-Gattana and Kenshin-gumi, and Oniwa Banshuu and the Six Comrades haven't shown their stuff yet! So I'll do Oniwa Banshuu first, then Six Comrades, and _then _the group battles, oki? Sorry if I caused any confusion ^^. For the group battles I'll do according to what you guys want, oki doki?

PS. OOCness abounds in here, especially when Aoshi's dark-n-silent façade cracks ^^.

Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND THREE 

Misao was up early, surprisingly, and making breakfast, surprisingly.  

"Wuh-what are you doing, Misao-chan?" Okon asked, unable to hide her yawn.

Misao dipped her finger into the batter and licked it. "Ew." She made a face and poured another bag of sugar in. "Okon!" she looked at her, "Don't you know what today is???"

Okon shrugged. "No, so what?"

"It's Valentine's Day, doofus!  I'm making chocolates for Aoshi-sama!" Misao giggled girlishly.

Okon stared. "You didn't make chocolates the year before." 

"That's because I didn't know where the hey Aoshi-sama was!  But this year, it's gonna be different! I'll make the best chocolate _ever_!!!" Misao declared, and resumed adding water into the clay bowl.

Okon sighed. "That's nice and all, but Aoshi-sama's still asleep."

"I'll get him up!" Misao threw the batter away and pranced to her crush's room.

She poked her head in, "Aoshi-sama?"

There was a lump on the futon, and soft snoring was emitting from it.  Misao had to bite the insides of her cheeks raw to keep from giggling. "He _snores???_" she thought, unable to keep a smile off her face.

"Aoshi-sama?" she repeated again.

"Five—more—minutes…" Aoshi mumbled, and pulled the sheets to cover his face.

"No! It's Valentine's Day and you _have to_ wake up! COME ON!" she yelled happily and began to yank the covers off him.

Aoshi muttered, "That's no way to behave to your elders, Misao-chan."

Misao grinned and said pertly, "You're just—uh—how much older than me?"

"By ten years, Misao-chan."

"Oh." Misao paused.  "Oh well." She continued to pull the blankets off.

Aoshi groaned and yanked back, determined to get more sleep.

Misao sighed. "Do you always act so childish?"

"Childish?" Aoshi smirked. "Look who's talking."

Misao saw an opening and jerked Aoshi's bed covers off. 

"It's cold, for chrissake!" Aoshi hollered, and thus began a tug-of-war for the cover between him and Misao.

"Who told you to be so babyish?!" Misao shot back, and lunged for the pillow, which she promptly banged over Aoshi's head.

"Owwwww…" Aoshi's eyes had fire in them. "Oh, you're getting it now…"

Misao leapt up, tongue stuck out, "Nya nya you have no pillow so you can't get me! Bai!" she jumped out of his room, pillow still clutched in her hand.

Aoshi growled and started after her.

~*~

Okita was telling a customer to pay his bill or else get booted out when a blue streak flashed by him, followed by a dark green one.  "Eh?" he blinked and told the man to wait here or else.  He followed the streaks into Misao's room.

"Weird, what are they doing in there?" with that he called Okon and Omasu. "there're some suspicious 'streaks' in Misao-chan's room. Come, we need to check it out."

Omasu stretched and complained, "Why didn't you just call the guys?"

"They're managing the Aoiya in front, now march!" Okita said huffily, and they crept to listen in on Misao's room.

"Wai! Stoppit Aoshi-sama!" 

"Only if you gimme my pillow back!"

"Never never never!"

"Then I'll keep on tickling you!"

"Ahaha—stop—onegai—stop—ahaha!"

"Gimme the pillow!" 

"Over my—haha—dead body!"

"We can arrange that."

"No—haha—here, have the stupid pillow!"

_Foomph._

"Oh Misao-chan you've gone _too_ far!"

"No not _my_ pillow, Aoshi-sama!"

"Die!"

_Foomph.  Foomph.  Foomph._

Okita blinked. "What just happened in there?"

Omasu peeled her ear from Misao's room.  "Sounds like a pillow fight."

"Pillow fight?  Aoshi-sama?" Okon shook her head. "Not possible."

"But there _was_ Aoshi-sama's voice." Okita said thoughtfully.

Just then a _BAM_ sounded and the shoji swung wide open (actually, it was destroyed) and Aoshi and Misao were flung out.

They were still fighting, it seemed, and Misao was brutally trying in vain to keep Aoshi from hitting her again.

"Okita!" Misao said breathlessly and Aoshi administered another whack to her head.

"M-Misao-chan!" Omasu screamed. "What are you DOING?!?!"

"Having a pillow fight, dummy!" Misao shrieked back, and kicked Aoshi's feet to trip him.  It worked. He hit the floor with a THUD and Misao leapt on top of him, whapping his face left and right.

"Damn right we are!" Aoshi growled, and bucked Misao off. He began to attack Misao with a flurry of fists and pillow.

"Aoshi!" Okita admonished, "Not so hard!"

Misao glared at the old man, "I can take it, Okita! I'm not _that_ worthless!" with that she kicked Aoshi off and uppercut his chin, then gave the pillow all the strength she got to slam into the side of Aoshi's head.

Aoshi threw the pillow at Misao, but it missed and hit Okita instead.

"Oh…whoops…"

"YOU DIE AOSHI!!!!"

~*~

"What the hey _happened_ to you all?" Yahiko snickered.

"Shaddup brat." Misao glowered at him as she half-crawled, half-dragged herself back into her room.

Kenshin stared at the battered Aoshi.  "Aoshi?"

"You were right, Battousai—pissing off a girl does not pay." Aoshi choked out, hand clutching his heart.

Kenshin nodded. "I told you. You should Kaoru in action once _she_ gets pissed."

"No, Misao is much more aggressive."

"Kaoru."

"Misao."

"Kaoru."

"Misao."

"Kaoru."

"Misao."

"Just shut up already, both of you!" Kaoru slammed a kitchen pan onto Kenshin's head.

"Oroooooooooo…" Kenshin stumbled across the room, swirly-eyed.

"I swear, you guys look like _crap._" Sanosuke sniggered.

"Oh gee thanks," Omasu snapped. 

"If Hiko-sama were to see this…" Okon sniffed, and staggered back to her room.

A/n- tee-hee. You guys like? Now what do you think of the Oniwa Banshuu? I dunno if it's OkiTa or OkiNa, so forgive me, oki? And I get Okon and Omasu mixed up too…Okon's the one with long hair right? And Omasu's like the serious one (who always scolds Okita for being such a pervert), right? Hopefully.

Anyhoo, next will the Six Comrades, and well let's just say I only know the names of a few of them.  like, say Enishi and Gein. sigh I'm hopeless.

And the hilarious parody of the Jinchuu as one certain reviewer suggested, and I quote: "Kaoru pinned to the wall with a pillow." (thankies! ^^) that is a GREAT idea and I'll use it for my Kenshin-gumi vs. the 6 Comrades fight.

As for the food fights and such, well, look forward to them but they'll most likely be AFTER the Pillow Grand Pree. (same story though, so it's a chapter) Expect the fic to change names, like Pillow+Food+Karoake+DDR grand pree. Lolz, just kidding, but it MIGHT happen! Anyhoo, keep reviewing and I'll keep writing! Thankies a lot, you guys give me fuel for my fire! (and datz a good thing, don't forget!)

Later dayz,

CyberSerpent .~

PS. Hugs and kisses to all who already reviewed! Hopefully this one'll pass the 20-review mark ^^ it already passed the ten ^.^


	5. Round Four

Disclaimer- I own nothing except the plot (right? ^^;)

A/n- sigh sigh sigh. I really am hopeless, ne? I mean, writing up a fic without even checking for the character's names…now don't think of me as a bad RK fan, cuz I'm not! I just only know their Chinese names datz all (-_-;;; I have the Chinese manga series, I can't read Japanese, don't blame me.) and I cannot possibly write a ficcy with their Chinese names. I mean, unless you were Asian, how are you supposed know that Yuan is Enishi? Or that Wai-Ien is Gein? I mean, jeesh! So, I'm giving it a shot, but expect the names to be funny or misspelled. (cuz I went online and searched—roughly)

Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND FOUR 

Enishi groaned and got up. What was that RACKET??? Can't a mafia leader get some decent sleep without his fellow murderers waking him up very very early morning???

There was a gasp, then knocking on his door.  

Enishi staggered out onto the door and opened it. "WHAT?!"

There was no one there. 

"This isn't funny.  Whoever it is can come out right now!" Enishi hollered.

The crackly voice came from the ceiling.  Mumyouni.  "Go…check out Gein's room.  They're destroying it right now."

"_Who's_ destroying Gein's room?" Enishi asked impatiently.

"The rest of your…comrades." Mumyouni said, then there was a scrabbling and no more.

Enishi sighed, pulled off his bathrobe, and dressed.  Then he walked briskly to Gein's room.  He opened the door to face…utter madness.

~*~

"WHAT THE **** IS THIS?!?!" Enishi shouted above the screams and yells.

"Look for yourself, old man!"  Banshin yelled, and slammed another pillow onto Gein's head.

"_Old man?!_" Enishi roared, "I'm just 22!!!" (do the math. If Kenshin was 15 when he killed Tomoe, and Enishi 9, they were six years apart.  And now Kenshin's 28, so Enishi must be 22.)

"What's with the white hair then?" Banshin retorted, and then foomphed Hyouko.

Gein was holding a puppet of Banshin, and slamming it into the wall.

"From the ceiling with love!" Mumyouni's voice cackled, and then five pillows fell from the ceiling simultaneously, each hitting Enishi, Gein, Banshin, Hyouko, and Hyougo with amazing accuracy (^_^;). 

Hyougo jabbbed at the ceiling with his pillow, which was impaled on his bayonet thingy attached to his disabled arm.

Enishi threw the pillow off, face red with anger, then hollered over everyone: "SHUTTTT UPPPPPP!"

There was silence.  For effects, CySer even put crickets chirping in the background.

"Quit it." Enishi growled to CS, who slinked away meekly (but still blushing because His Hotness had actually spoken to her).

"This is an outrage!" Enishi yelled, pounding his fist into his palm.  "Is this really the UNITED group we call the Six Comrades???"

Banshin looked around.  "Um, there's me, you, Gein, Hyouko, Hyougo, and Mumyouni up there.  Yeah we're still here. Why?"

Enishi groaned and slapped his forehead. "Forget it. Just think, if the Battousai were to see this—"

But all attention was diverted off him onto a tiny television screen Gein had just turned on.

"See, this is Pillow Grand Pree round ONE," Gein was saying, prodding at the screen. "THIS is Battousai, THAT is his girlfriend, THAT is the brat, and THAT is the chicken freak beating the crap out of each other."

"Oooooooh, ahhhhhhhh." The rest of the 6 comrades said, eyes glued to the screen.

"Would you guys LISTEN?!" Enishi threw up his arms.  "The Battousai obviously thinks he's better than us because HE has a little fling with all his little friends, so what do we need to do, comrades?!"

"BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHERMORE THAN THE BATTOUSAI DID TO HIS PALS!" The other five chanted.

"I can't hear you!" Enishi screamed.

"_BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER MORE THAN THE BATTOUSAI DID TO HIS PALS!"_ The five screamed back.

"Louder!" Enishi coaxed.

"**_BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER MORE THAN THE BATTOUSAI DID TO HIS PALS!_**" the five shrieked.

Enishi nodded his approval. "Much better."

~*~

"Th-this is per-perfect—" Enishi wheezed. "We killed ourselves more than the Battousai killed his friends!"

Gein had his mask off and was wiping his face with it. "Yeah. Yeah."

Mumyouni, true to his family law, had stayed up in the ceiling, dropping pillow-bombs everywhere.  But he finally gave up after Hyougo _did_ stab him with the pillow-bayonet.

Banshin was still bouncing around, laughing evilly and throwing pillows at the wall.  We reckon he's gone mad.

Hyouko had finally released all his secret weapons and, after exhausting them all, had collapsed himself.

Hyougo had lumbered out earlier, complaining about stomach cramps.

"Hey let's watch round one, see how we did compared to the Battousai's." Enishi said suddenly, and flicked on the TV.

There came the hollers, then screams, and _foomph_s.  

"Ho ho!" Enishi laughed as Kenshin got creamed by Sanosuke. "See how you like _that,_ BUTTousai!"

"So, how did we do?" Gein asked.

"I dunno." Enishi shrugged. "That CyberSerpent freak censored it all."

"Figgers." Banshin stopped hurling pillows at the wall. "She _had_ to censor it, otherwise think of all the widdle itty-bitty babies that won't be able to sleep tonight after reading this."

"Hey…" Enishi snapped his fingers, "That's IT!"

~*~

Let me tell you, as I was typing this, a white-haired man suddenly came out of nowhere, tied and gagged me, then threw me into my closet.  I had no idea what he did to my computer at that time, but when I came out, THIS was typed.

~*~

**NOT FOR WIDDLE BABIES WHO'LL GET NIGHTMARES AFTER READING THIS**

First, Enishi gave Banshin an uppercut to his chin with his pillow, then a left punch.

Banshin growled and kicked Enishi's groin, causing him to double over and groan (groan groin get it?).

Then Enishi killed Banshin.

Then Banshin killed Enishi.

Then Gein killed them all.

Gein DID NOT kill them all! He's a big fat liar. Enishi did! He sprayed everyone with pillows, which was mighty smart of him, and then shot them all with a pillow-rifle.

Enishi is a @#$%, it was Banshin that won the fight!

Then everyone started chanting "Mumyouni! Mumyouni! Mumyouni!" and so he won the fight.

You missed the first part, Mumyouni, it was You die Mumyouni! You die Mumyouni! You die Mumyouni!

Shut UP Banshin.

It is pretty cool though, how you can just reach your hand down from the ceiling and type.

All the Yatsumes are cool.

My foot.

Can we go now Enishi?

~*~

So, anyway, that typed on my computer. It was pretty funny so I left it here for humor's sake.  Hey that's funny…how did this piece of paper labeled JINCHUU get in my room? …

A/n- tee-hee. The first person narrarative is me, of course. But unfortunately, that sort of thing never happened to me as I was typing a fic ^.^;;;;.  Quite unfortunately u.u.  Anyhoo, NOW I can finally do the group vs. group thingies!!! Sorry guys! But I had to let you have a taste of each group first ^_^. So, it'll be a parody of the battle against Shishio, so in other words, Kenshin-gumi and Oniwa Banshuu vs. Juppon-Gattana. Spoilers are included of course XD

Later dayz!

CyberSerpent .~

PS. I can also call myself CySer, so when you see that, it's me! Not Scyther or Scizor though! That's the Pokemon!

PPS. Please review! Come on! 17 reviews! 3 more! C'mon!


	6. Round Five

Disclaimer- I do not own, in any part, Rurouni Kenshin…but I want the pillows! Gimme Soujiro's pillow!

A/n- first off, I would just like to thank everyone for their reviews.  You guys are awesome, thankies! 

Secondly, the fight between Juppon-Gattana and Kenshin-gumi&Oniwa Banshuu lasted a grand total of FOUR-AND-A-HALF complete mangas(the first half of #13 isn't), so expect this to—um—drag out a bit.

Thirdly, the fights will take place as follows:

1. Sanosuke vs. Anji

2. Saito vs. Usui

3. Kenshin vs. Aoshi

4. Oniwa Banshuu+Kaoru+Yahiko+Hiko vs. Kamatari, Hennya, and Iwanbou

5. Kenshin vs. Soujiro

6. Kenshin vs. Shishio (round a)

7. Sano, Saito, and Aoshi vs. Shishio

8. Kenshin vs. Shishio (round b)

Okay, now that's A LOT.  So, round six will be Saito vs. Usui, round seven will be Kenshin vs. Aoshi, and so on.

Now, sit back and enjoy…**Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND FIVE!** The rather peculiar parody of the final fight between Ken-chan and Shishio-sama!!! (guest star: Seijiro Hiko! Everyone scream!)

PS. This starts at Scene#107 in the manga, where they first meet Yumi and get directed to Anji and such. Sorry but me don't know the anime dat well, only the manga ^_^;;;

Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND FIVE 

_To avoid let you just wander around and get bored, I have an important task for you in mind, Yumi._

Kenshin, Sanosuke, and Saito walked around to the door.  The trio all noticed someone at the door.

"…there's someone there." Kenshin stated the obvious as they approached the form.

Yumi's form came into view. "Welcome everyone. Once you go in, it's a maze of doors and corridors.  In order to guide you, Shishio-sama sent me, Yumi Konagata, to assist you."

"He's trying to use a woman to make us distracted.  I've seen lots of tricks like these, be careful everyone." Sanosuke said solemnly.

"The only person who'll fall for something as babyish as that is you." Saito remarked.

"**!**"

"Shishio isn't a shallow character." Kenshin replied.

"**!!**"

"Alright, let's go in." 

"…"

~*~

Yumi was about to open a door when she stopped. "Oh yes. Shishio-sama wants me to deliver this message to you: the battle form is one-on-one. First we'll let one person fight, and if he loses, the next steps up. The fighter is entirely up to you. But," at this she smiled devilishly, "the rest can**not** interfere."

Sanosuke grinned, "Good.  One-on-one's the fastest way to go."

Saito took a long drag, then exhaled. "I don't care, but one-on-one's really too tedious. Whoever's my opponent, send them on all together!"

"What about you, Himura?" Yumi asked.

"It's good.  But if _anyone_ tries to pillow-foomph-murder the opponent after the match is proven, I won't just stand there.  Because I promised to battle.  Not to kill pointlessly." Kenshin answered.

Yumi giggled, "Hee, innocent man…" she pushed open the door, "Alright, player number one, go."

A giant Buddha statue wielding a pillow graced the center of the room.

Kenshin looked startled. "The Pillow Buddha…"

Saito guffawed, "There's a monk in the ruthless killing Juppon-Gattana?"

Sanosuke said, "That's right.  There is an off-track, absolute 'monk'."

Anji stood there solemnly, his face glowering.  

Sanosuke clenched his fists. "Alright, I guess I'll be fighting the first round (or in this case, fifth ^^)! Kenshin, gimme my pillow."

Kenshin handed Sanosuke a goose-feather pillow.

Sanosuke frowned. "I said I wanted duck feathers, not goose."

Kenshin shrugged. "I was in a hurry to get out of the house, so…"

Sanosuke walked to Anji, armed with his pillow.

"Konagata-dono, he is…?" Kenshin asked Yumi.

Yumi chuckled. "Juppon-Gattana's 'Pillow Death King', Anji, his skills are high!"

_Anji,_ Kenshin thought, _the one that saved Misao-chan…the third highest fighter in the Juppon-Gattana…and—I don't know what you two have been thru, Sanosuke, but watch out! I can sense an impeccable aura coming from him…_

"Hi!" Sanosuke greeted. "It's been a while, eh?

"I've always wanted to meet you again, but not under these conditions." Sanosuke went on.

"Me too. It turns out all that crap you said about the government was fake.  I'm very disappointed in you, to tell the truth." Anji replied.

"_I'm the one who's disappointed, you stinkin' baldy!_" Sanosuke shot back fiercely.  "What's all that shit you said about 'saving the world'?! So you help Shishio destroy the world, well in my dictionary SAVE and DESTROY are NOT synonyms!"

(A/n- and so they go on, just talking. But I'm sure you want to skip all this junk and go to the pillow fight, right? So let's fast-forward—::hits switch on remote control:: okay! The fight begins! …oh yeah, this little funny tidbit I threw in, the next part's the fight ^^)

"I've always thought you were smart." Anji said.

Saito took a drag. "You think too high of him."

"**Ya stay outta this!**" Sanosuke screeched.

"Sanosuke!" Kenshin yelled, "Don't feel intimidated!  In the areas of pillow-fighting, even a double-pillow fighter is not seemable to defeat the single-pillow fighter,"

Sanosuke perked up.

Kenshin continued, "Who cares if your brain's not that smart!  Just concentrate, and you'll win!"

At this Sanosuke fell over anime-style.  "Dammit! Everyone thinks I'm so low!"

"But, the double-pillow-limit you just showed me increased my chance of winning." Sanosuke picked up his pillow.

"Oi, Himura!" Yumi said crossly. "The battle's one-on-one, you can't intervene."

"I know, that's why I'm using my mouth to substitute my fists!" Kenshin replied, smiling.

_Still doesn't learn his lesson, _Saito thought, sighing.

_Brat!_ Yumi growled in her mind, veins popping.

"Just with you? Don't be stupid." Anji answered. "You don't have a chance."

"Have or don't, ya'll hafta try it to find out!" Sanosuke retorted, and lunged himself at Anji, beating his pillow ferociously on his head.

But Anji reacted faster, and stuck his pillow at Sanosuke. Sanosuke twisted away and smacked the pillow into Anji's side as hard as he could.

To his surprise, it made no effect.  "Wha—???"

(This is not going to follow the original "fight"line because then I'd be tweaking everything to pillow-ish, so I'm just gonna invent the middle of the fight, but beginning and ending still da same, kewl?)

All Sanosuke saw before feeling intense pain was a flurry of whiteness.  Anji had smashed the pillow onto Sanosuke's head.

"Ya're askin' for it buddy!" Sanosuke growled and swooshed his pillow onto Anji's head.  

"Die!" Anji responded and ripped Sanosuke's pillow away.

"Uh…" Sanosuke gulped. "Oh."

~*~

_"Isn't it enough, Anji?_

_All the pain, sorrow you experienced in past, isn't it enough?  Now is the time to stop and live peacefully!"_

_"I don't care if I'm full of wounds, since I already lost all sense of pain. I'll go on as the 'Pillow Death Monk' until my idea of 'world saving' comes true! **Those children who have died a burning and painful death—will surely agree with me!**"_

_"**YOU—STINKIN' STUPID ASSHOLE!!!!!**_

**_YOU DON'T GET ANYTHIN' AT ALL!_**_"_

There was a_ foomph_, then Anji was rocked backwards to fall.  

Kenshin stared, stunned, at Sanosuke.  "That was…" _not only had he used the double-pillow-limit, he then used his fingers to propel the pillow forward with more force!  That was…**Triple-Pillow-Limit**…_

"You…" Anji stood up, murder in his eyes.  He let out a howl and raised his pillow to pummel Sanosuke into tomorrow.

"Not my best goose-feather pillow!" Kenshin cried.

Sanosuke sniggered, "Ya pillow ain't goin' no where, Kenshin.  Chill." Then he turned to Anji.  "Those dead kids don't care nothin' about you savin' the world.  What they want, is for their surviving shishou to get happiness.  Look at yourself." Sanosuke pointed to the slate stuck in Anji's pant cuff.  "They're covered in your pillow feathers, crying out in pain.  Don't you see? Losing them changed your viewpoint of the world, then you must've truly cared about them. Well then," Sanosuke paused dramatically, "you must understand how they feel too."

Anji fell to his knees and dropped his pillow.  Then began to weep.

A/n- not much humor there? Not much fighting either? Ah forgive me forgive me! I got a little tired of following the fightline, so just invented my own (sortov)!  I was laughing at the Triple-Pillow-Limit thing, the Pillow Death Monk but izzat all? Please review and tell me watcha dink!

Later dayz!

CyberSerpent .~

PS. Umm…I was thinking…can I take off the Saito and Usui fight? Thing is, they have all these attacks that I dunno the names of, except for Gatotsu. Please review and tell me if you think I should have the S and U fight off. it's a bit tedious watching the same thing, just subbing the swords with pillows, after all ^_^;;

PPS. Oooh…sex-ay Kenshin wallpaper *_* email a href="mailto:dracoplushie@aol.com"me/a for it if you want! I got it at a href="www.animegenesis.com"Anime Genesis/a!!!


	7. Round Six

Disclaimer- I don't own Rurouni Kenshin

A/n- Sorry this took so long guys ^_^;;; but I was still trying to figure out if you guys want the Saito vs. Usui fight or not but I decided to leave it in since Saito-sama wouldn't exactly get a performance if not and I know how you guys love him! Oh yeah, according to the manga, this is where the rest of the Juppon-Gattana meet up with the Oniwa Banshuu&company, so I'm just stuffing that in after Sano leaves Anji and all that. Oh yeah, and I never watched the Kyoto-arc anime except the beginning where Saito beats the *ahem* out of Kenshin while Kaoru screams uselessly, okay? So if you think anything's wrong, just remember that I'm going along the line of the manga and not the anime. And the rest—enjoy…the Wolf of Mibu vs. the Blind Swordsman—eh, Pillowman!

Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND SIX 

Sanosuke Sagara stood up and swung his jacket over his shoulder.  He took two steps forward—then fell.

"Are you alright?" Kenshin asked as he put the medicine Kaoru transferred to him from Megumi onto Sanosuke's hand.

"It hurts!" Sanosuke muttered back.

Saito took a long drag. "You've got no one to blame but yourself. I told you specificly to improve on your defense but did you listen? No.

"And so the Juppon-Gattana still has seven people left, and only us two to fight them?" 

"Hey!" Sanosuke went angry-SD. "Whatta bout me???"

"What _about_ you? You're going to try to fight in that state? Get real. Besides, your pillow's been busted up so bad the feathers are probably are twisted.  We don't need medical patients here.  Stay back for a while." Saito retorted.

"Who're you kiddin'?! I've already come this far and so I'm going to go farther and see that Shishio!" Sanosuke shot back, clenching his fist. "Owiieee…" 

Kenshin cradled his tattered pillow, "Poor widdle pillow…did bad Sano beat you up?"

"Gawd Kenshin you are so gay…"

~* and so comes a lot of boring stuff where Sanosuke wants to help Anji with the medicine and Kenshin stops him and yadda yadda—and now let's zoom to where Anji tells them that three of the Juppon-Gattana went off to the Aoiya *~

"Go back." Anji said.

"Huh?"

"The only people left here in the Juppon-Gattana are Soujiro and Usui. The rest went off to attack the Aoiya." Anji continued.

Kenshin had a look of disbelief on his face—then anger. "Shishio!"

"Oi! Don't get the wrong idea okay? This plan was made by Houji, not Shishio-sama, get your story straight first!" Yumi spoke up, pissed.

Sanosuke slammed his hand on Yumi's shoulder, "Who gives a f*** whose plan is it! Take us back, now!"

Yumi put on a smug look, "Unfortunately I only know the way to go forward, not backward." 

Sanosuke cursed under his breath. "Che!" he turned to Kenshin, "Kenshin!"

Kenshin thought for a while, then finally said, "We'll just believe in everyone for a while, and finish what we came here to do. I think it'll be faster than going out of this maze." _Shishou…_ (all females fans of Hiko—scream!) _Please…let us be on time…_

~* Aoiya *~

Okon burst in, "Bad news! They've got us surrounded, at least 150 of them!"

Okina said gravely, "Just like Himura said."

Misao lifted her fist, "It's time to battle!"

Kaoru piped up, "Our goal isn't to terminate the enemy, it's to protect ourselves, everyone got that?"

Misao replied, "Well duh! As long as I'm the Okashira, no one's gonna get killed!"

Yahiko looked out the window, "150 huh? Since Okina can't really fight, we'll have to fight at least twenty per person…"

A voice spoke up, "I say, young one, don't get confused." The voice belonged to a pretty "girl" in a kimono with a long scythe-pillow in her hand (a pillow shaped like a scythe).  "These people are just here to act like a wall, to prevent you from running away. The people who are actually gonna fight you, are us.  So just come out and play, wontcha?"

~*~

"This is it, the second room." Yumi said. "Once you open it, there'll be no esca—"

"Don't waste your breath." Kenshin said shortly and kicked open the door.

Usui, the Blind Pillowman, squatted in the middle of room, which was covered from head to toe with images of pillows with eyes.

"Ugh, freaky." Sanosuke shuddered.

Usui appeared to think as he rubbed his chin, "One, two, and three…well well, looks like Anji didn't even kill off one."

Kenshin went into his battoujutsu pose (although in this case he's reaching for his pillow), "Leave the talking for later, hurry up and do your thing. It doesn't look like you're moving."

Sanosuke raised his eyebrow, "Oi, Ken—"

Saito whacked Kenshin down.

"—shin…" Sanosuke sweatdropped.

Saito said, "I don't mind if you get mad, as long as it doesn't results in foolishness, baka! Foolishness only thwarts your true ability. I'll take care of this guy, you others go on."

Kenshin rubbed his forehead, "Saito…?"

"_Get going_." Saito growled.

"Alright then, I'm going!" Kenshin whirled around to leave.

"Hey you can't just leave like tha—" Yumi cried.

"Shut up! You're coming with us!" Sanosuke snarled and picked up the startled and sweatdropping geisha, the trio running out of the room while Usui "looked" on and Yumi screamed, "Lemme go! The only person that can touch me is Shishio-sama!"

"Saito Hajime…looks like the people of the revolution really overestimated you…" Usui cackled evilly.

"I don't think that eye-heart thing of yours really works." Saito began to unsheath his pillow.

"Hm?" 

"Besides, with that 'no-murder' nut floating around, it'd only…" Saito held up his pillow, "_block the intense feeling I get when I kill you."_

~* and so they yap and they yap, Usui tells Saito that his "eye-heart" thingamabob's secret's actually in his ears and blah *~

"And so to protect my motto of 'Aku-Soku-Zan', I must terminate you." Saito slid into his Pillowtotsu stance.

"Aku, soku, zan? To slay evil immediately?" Usui grinned. "Not bad. Saito Hajime, you're good enough to be my opponent!"

The two both charged at each other, and Saito thrusted his pillow at Usui, but he blocked it with his ball-shaped pillow and began his first attack, jabbing his pillow at Saito from every angle.

Saito dodged back. Blood spurted from both his knees and his arm.

"Only hurt in three places? Not too shabby, Saito Hajime." Usui cackled.

~* is there anyone here that likes Saito or Usui? If so then I am soooo sorry but I've gotten lazy, and I'm eager to get on to Soujiro's fight (versus Kenshin) and so…let us just innocently skip past the boring part… *~

"You…!" Usui stuck his turtle-shell shield in front of Saito, blocking his view. "Ha! See if you can use the Pillowtotsu now! Your every movement has been thwarted!" Usui grinned crazily and prepared to stab his pillow right into Saito's face and suffocate him.

But instead—

Saito threw back his arms and did…Pillowtotsu Zero.

Usui was thrown back, and gasped for breath as Saito suffocated him.

He died.

Just wanted to put it gently for all you young readers.

If you already know how Usui died, this is a very different instance of it, for the sake of, quoting Banshin, widdle bwabies that'll get nightmares after reading this. If you really wanna know…just lemme warn you, the material below can be disturbing.

Okay. No pillows. Saito had a sword. Not reverse-blade either (tehe). He just did Gatotsu Zero and simply drove his sword thru Usui, ripping his torso from waistdown and pinning him on the wall. They chatted about how long Saito'll keep up his motto of Aku Soku Zan, and it ended with a guffawed: "'til I die, of course."

A/n- I am sooooooooo gonna flamed for this! _______;;; I totally and completely almost skipped the whole entire fight!!! Waiiiii forgive me! ::grovels at reader's feet:: Sorry sorry sorry minna-san! Gomen nasai! Waiiiiiiiiiiii put down that sword Saito-sama!!!

AUGHHHHHHHHHH!!! ::runs away screaming while Saito and Usui run after her::

::pokes head back in::

Oh yeah, later dayz!

CyberSerpent .~

::fleets away again::

"_You'll pay, woman!_"

"_My only fighting scene in the whole damn blasted manga and you SKIP it!_"

"Gomen nasai! Gomen, gomen! Spare me! AHHHH!"

"_Aku soku zan!_"

"Die, woman!"

"Waiiiiiiii!!!!!!! Sou-chan saaaaaaave meeeee!"

::general sweatdrop::

"You think she'll escape alive, Yumi-san?"

"Not a chance, Soujiro."

"Sessha getting outta here, de gozaru yo."

"Ditto that, Kenshin."


	8. Round Seven Part A

Disclaimer- I don't own RK

A/n- ::runs into room and slams self against door:: ::panting heavily:: I-I just have a f-few s-seconds to ch-chat b-before I have to r-run again—so I'll make this quick. This be the fight between Kenshin and Aoshi. They're both cute, so this time (hopefully) I won't skip any important parts, just the tidbits…WAITAMINNIT! Uh-oh…I just reread the manga and look: ::shoves up manga #14:: there's a lotta idle chatter between the two about Aoshi shoving his responsibilities on the late Oniwa Banshuu people (Hannya and co.), and such…aw man, I'm gonna HAVE to cut off some junk to make this chapter shorter…gomen ne minna-san…

::hears screaming and door banging in background::

Wuh-oh…Saito and Usui are breaking the door now, gotta fly, bai bai!

Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND SEVEN 

Two pairs of feet thundered upon the wooden floor—waitaminnit…two? Where's the other pair?

"Kso we're not there yet? It's hard work carrying such a heavy woman!" Sanosuke cursed.

"Hey hey stinkin' kid what are you jabbering about?!" Yumi squirmed and shouted. "Besides," she now averted her attention on Kenshin, "the next one you're fighting is the most powerful in the Juppon-Gattana, Seta Soujiro, do you know?!"

_Seta Soujiro…_Kenshin mused, then stopped in front of a door.

"Oi, aren't you a little bit TOO eager? That's Houji's room. No one's in there right now." Yumi  hissed.

"Hear that Kenshin? Let's go!" Sanosuke panted.

Kenshin still stared at the door. _No, someone—someone's in there!_

~*~

"She said there's no one in there, Kenshin!" Sanosuke repeated impatiently.

"No…there _is_ someone in there…" Kenshin murmured.

"Wha—" Sanosuke turned to Yumi angrily. "Is one of the Juppon-Gattana in there to ambush us?!"

"Puh-leeeeze! I already explained to you, the whole entire scheme of this is based on Houji's plans, Shishio-sama didn't have anything to with this, only the 'final battle'! So I can guarantee that the person in there, whoever he is, is not one of the Juppon-Gattana!" Yumi thundered.

"Not one of the Juppon-Gattana…" Sanosuke blinked. "Oi, Kenshin—it isn't…"

"Yes." Kenshin said. "_Aoshi Shinomori_."

~* there's a little foreplay of round eight, so…yeah. Enjoy Kamatari ^_^; (I like him…ho ho…) *~

"Hey hey hey! The Juppon-Gattana already said they wanted to fight you, so why don't you just get down here, hurry up, and die!" Kamatari shouted up to the Aoiya. Then he clasped his hands together, giggling and singing, "We're gonna cut off your heaaaaaaaaaaa~ds and give them Shishio-sama as preeeeeee~sents!"

"Uhm…is that one of the Juppon-Gattana too?" Yahiko sweatdropped.

"Looks it…" Misao sweatdropped too.

"What should we should do?" Okon asked Okina.

"Well…we have a better advantage here…rather than 150 against seven, it's better as three against seven. I say we do…Okon, Omasu, Shiro, and Kuro, you go against the slowest-looking one. Kaoru and Yahiko against that batty man, and Misao against that woman (a/n- boy are they ever gonna get a surprise) with the scythe." Okina decided. "But remember—_none of us is ever going to die._"

"Got it." Misao gave Okina a thumbs-up, "Let's gooo!"

The Oniwa Banshuu plus two jumped out of the window to greet the Juppon-Gattana.

"Owiiiieeeeee…" Yahiko groaned as he slamped onto the ground.

"Dummy…" Kaoru sighed.

Okon, Omasu, Shiro, and Kuro all fired their pillow discs at Iwanbou (the "slowest-looking" one).

"Got him!" Misao cheered.

But Iwanbou just used his blubber and the discs bounced off.

"Nande?!"

"Hoho…" Iwanbou cackled and slashed out at the Oniwa Banshuu (excluding Misao).

"Minna-san!" Misao cried.

"Personally, I think you should be worrying about yourself." Kamatari smiled from behind Misao.

Kaoru and Yahiko faced Hennya, "Alright. I think we should start too."

~*~

"Kenshin…" Sanosuke said.

Kenshin finally murmured, "I promised…I promised Misao-chan, to bring back Aoshi; and my other promise to Aoshi, to once again battle him…

"If I lose this moment, I may never again be offered a chance to stay true to any of those two promises.  I can only use now to complete my promise." Kenshin pushed open the door.

Aoshi Shinomori sat there, looking darker than ever. He had one long pillow resting in his lap. 

"You're here…" Aoshi looked up, glowering. "Our promised time has come…Himura Battousai."

~*~

"Aoshi…" Kenshin stared hardly at the man standing before him. "You changed. You changed so much I can barely believe you're still 'Shinomori Aoshi'."

"How can I not change?" Aoshi said menacingly, his left hand on the hilt of his long pillow cover, and his right on the end of the cover. He slid his hands away, and they came with two short pillows.

Sanosuke gasped. _He's got two pillows now…_

"I'm waiting, Battousai." Aoshi clinked his pillows together.

Kenshin's hand, however, did not move to unsheathe his pillow.

Sanosuke shouted, "Kenshin?! What are you doing, you fool?"

Aoshi said, "And now you're going to dishonor your promise?"

"I'll honor my promise. But, my opponent isn't you." Kenshin said. "The person I promised a fight with was the Okashira of the Oniwa Banshuu, 'Aoshi', not you."

"What are you talking about?" Aoshi growled.

"It's no use, Kenshin." Sanosuke murmured. "If reason can get past this dude, then he would've been saved all the way back at the Kanryuu place. Who cares if he's changed; Aoshi is Aoshi. Just defeat him to get on with the next fight. Time is valuable."

"If that's so, then I would dishonor another promise." Kenshin said back softly, "The Aoshi I promised Misao-chan I'd bring back was the Okashira Aoshi, not this one.

"Even if I did defeat him and brought him back, it would be meaningless." At this Kenshin turned to Aoshi, "I will honor my promise, but my opponent will not be this Aoshi."

Aoshi glowered at him, "Are you done with your jabbering now?" he tightened his grip on his pillows.

"It'd be smart to take out your pillow now, Kenshin. He's coming." Sanosuke said.

"Iie." Kenshin answered.

A vein popped on Sanosuke's head, "Can you please not be a pain-in-the-@$$?!?!"

Kenshin replied slowly. "If I had defeated this Aoshi, he would most definitely be hit harder than before. So I must try to elicit the true Aoshi out and defeat that one."

"I told ya, time's valuable, and now you're playin' these stupid games…" 

"Gomen." 

"But this method fits your personality rather well! Alright, I forgive ya! Get out there and beat Aoshi's @$$!" Sanosuke grinned and flashed Kenshin a thumbs-up.

Yumi glanced warily at Kenshin, "……"

Aoshi dashed at Kenshin, pillow out.

Kenshin leapt back and slapped one hand against the bookcase, and with the other hand he raked the books down and threw them at Aoshi.

Aoshi slashed thru the books and Kenshin took the time to leap on top of the bookcase. 

Yumi ran thru the maze of books and finally stopped for breath. "…found it!" 

A telegraph transmitter sat on the desk of Houji's.

"Shishio-sama! Yumi sent us a telegraph!" Houji walked rapidly to Shishio-sama's side. "She said Anji lost, Saito and Usui are battling, and even Kenshin and Aoshi are fighting in my room." Perspiration formed on his forehead, "This doesn't look good."

"It's not that bad." Shishio took a puff on his cigar-thingy-doo, "If one were to fight with Anji, he wouldn't come out unscathed. As for Saito and Usui, Usui'd probably lose, but would also harm Saito in the process." He let out his breath slowly, trailing a path of smoke thru the air, "Two harmed, and one Battousai…just Soujiro and I can defeat them easily."

"But some of our men are already down!" Houji protested.

"_Unless…you want to see me fretting and horrified?_" Shishio smiled toothily.

Houji's upper lip twitched.

"Let's just toss that aside. Onto more serious matters…" Shishio tilted his head back, "Shinomori and Battousai finally locked horns?" he directed his speech to the young man washing his pillow by hand in a tub. "Soujiro, you better take your time cleansing your pillow."

"Hm?" Soujiro looked up.

"Because their battle'd probably take up a while."

Kenshin dashed to the edge of the bookcase he was standing upon. Aoshi cursed and started to climb up after him. Kenshin jumped down and slammed his shoulder against the bookcase, "Aoshi! The you right now can't even defeat the pillowless me!" 

The bookcase tottered and looked set to squash Aoshi into a pancake.

Sanosuke cheered, "Yatta! You really beat him without your pil—"

Aoshi's eyes flickered and he slashed at the bookcase. 

_Kai Ten Kenbu Loku Len!_

The bookcase was immediately slashed to a million pieces.

Kenshin gasped.

"It might take up a while? Why?" Soujiro asked as he scrubbed soap into his cotton pillow case.

"Easy." Shishio replied, leaning back, "Because Shinomori Aoshi at this time, is on the same level as the Battousai. If these two lock horns, then a life-or-death battle is sure to occur."

Kenshin unsheathed his pillow… 

A/n- nani! Gomen nasai minna-san, this be part a. of round seven! You guys seemed impatient so… and besides, me too caught up with homework and evading Saito and Usui. Blaugh…how can they pick on a little twelve-years-old? Sniffle. But dun worry! Round Seven Part B will be up shortly (I hope)!

Hugs to…

Sagara Sanosuke- sucha loyal reviewer ^_~. Thankies Sano and keep up YOUR fics! It's great! 

Zosocrowe- my first reviewer and very faithful too at that! Nyu, Kamatari and Yumi catfight? ::raises eyebrow at first ever review:: I suppose it could be managed… ::cackles evilly::

Anna- don't worry! Not only will Aoshi-sama be showing off his double pillows, Hiko-sama will too (though not double ^.^;;;)! Watch as the parody of superman vs. giant man! ::cracks up, imagining Fuji with a giant pillow::

J. Liha- thankies for the concern about my safety! Don't worry, I think the super-duper-extra-triple-quadruple-safe-barred-door I just got will hold very nicely. NYEH?! It just broke down! Stupid infomercials! ::kicks tv::

Hoto- how much I owe you I dunno, but it's a lot! Thankies for the help on my website and actually trying to teach me HTML code! Me! A HTML idiot! And…you have good taste in bishies too ^.^ Naozumi, Nuriko, Tasuki, Hotohori, Kenshin, Soujiro, Kamatari… oh yeah! And thankies for making the only Nao-chan shrine on the web! ::eyes all other websites with disgust:: j/k! 

Pocky- ha ha, like ur new name? ^o^;;; tee-hee, oki, anyhoo, thankies for reading this and actually reviewing it! And Draco is NOT gay 3 Caine isn't either so bi-daaaaaaah! :p (_Luine_ is gay)

CreatiStar- ne, still no review yet? ;_; ah well, anyhoo, I'll beat your review mark! I will! …I think. ^_^;;; yeah, just keep up the good work on the CCS fics! (seventy plus reviews…you're mad! You're all mad!)

Ky_glitterz- nyu! Zup Ky-Ly? Hope you have fun with winter and good luck on your website! DON'T DELETE IT! NYU!

ALL THE REVIEWERS: THANK THANK THANK YOU SOOO MUCH! I think this will beat my all-time reviews mark, held at 33 on Realized Too Late, my Digimon all-couples romance fic! NYEH! THANKIES!!! HUGS ALL ACROSS THE WORLD! NYYYYYU!

And last but not least: all my fav bishies! ::hugs all eighteen of the cuties::

And now…

Later dayz!

CyberSerpent .~

PS. I just uploaded my first ever Fushigi Yuugi fic! It's Yui+Suboshi, those who are interested, go click on  Fushigi Yuugi fic! It's Yui+Suboshi, those who are interested, go click on "Yuki ga futte imas…" by CyberSerpent! The title means "It's Snowing…" and it's set in winter so…yeah! Please go R+R! (Suboshi…*____*) 


	9. Round Seven Part B

Disclaimer- I don't own RK

A/n- ::kicks at tv once again:: stupid, stupid infomercials! Wasted me my life savings and got me a piece of @#$%! Mou! But dun worry! I still have this!!! ::flashes a half-purple, half-white ball:: a Bishie Ball! And not only that, it's a Bishie Master Ball too! Now, with the bait I set up… ::points at a pile of Playboy magazines cluttered under a basket propped up with a stick connected to a string held in CySer's hand:: I can finally catch em all! ::phone starts ringing:: ::picks up phone:: Moshi moshi? Oh _hello_ Tokio-san! Thank you, yes, I think the trap will work rather well, although I could simply not imagine Saito reading Playboy mags but you know! That's men! Yes, thank you, uh-huh. Of course I'll return him to you when I catch him. What? Spare Bishie Balls? I think I've got some Great Balls here somewhere. Yeah, I'll send them to you with your hubby. Oki, thanks again, bai! 

Alright, now that Tokio-san has shared her ingenuity with us, let us cheer for…Pillow Grand Pree, Round Seven, part B!

Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND SEVEN part B

_Kenshin…_ Sanosuke gasped. _He was forced to unsheathe his pillow._

"So…you have finally decided to take me seriously?" Aoshi said coldly as their pillows foomphed against each other. 

"…" Kenshin did not reply. 

"That's good." Aoshi said. "I can finally show you my real strength now." With that he swept his pillow sideways along Kenshin, resulting in Kenshin's right shoulder getting caught in the feathers.

Kenshin jumped back, and Aoshi clinked his double pillows together and began to attack relentlessly. 

Kenshin's eyes widened, but his fast reflexes allowed him to react in time and block nearly all of Aoshi's attacks. He was pushed back against a bookcase (evoking a "Kenshin!" from Sanosuke), and Aoshi drew back to stab Kenshin, but Kenshin evaded the attack.

_Hiten Mitsurugi Style—Dragon Twist!_

Aoshi blocked the attack with another one of his pillows, and he used his elbow to reward an uppercut to Kenshin's neck.

"Oi cheater! No fists!" Sanosuke seethed.

Aoshi ignored him and pushed one end of his pillow into the other end of his other pillow, resulting in one pillow firing right into Kenshin.

_Kodachi Nito Ryu, On Myo Hatsushi!_

Kenshin blinked. "!!!" _It's the same element as the Flying Dragon's flying pillow type!_ Kenshin knocked the first pillow away. But a second pillow was facing him almost immediately. "!" _Hidden in the first pillow—a pillow whose path is exactly the same as the previous? _Kenshin dodged it, but Aoshi kicked him squarely in the face. Blood spurted out.

Sanosuke was in shock. _H…he's strong…!_

Aoshi picked up his pillow. "Stand up, Battousai. The Battousai I know does not surrender so easily. Just like you said before, I find no interest in defeating such an easy foe.

"The person I am about to defeat is who they say is the strongest of the Revolution—Hitokiri Battousai. Only defeating the Hitokiri Battousai will suffice for the ones who have lived a life of battle, and died a death of battle.

"To get to this point I sacrificed everything. I threw away pride, compassion, good and evil. And then I chose separate paths, away from my old companions.

"Stand up, Battousai! Today's the day where I shall defeat you, and gain the title of being history's strongest! And then, I can finally end my Revolutionary days, end my last days as Okashira, _end everything I have._

"Come on, Battousai. I'll give your reverse-blade pillow back, hit me with everything you got!"

Sanosuke sank once again into deep thought (he does a lotta thinking these days…must be the influence of Kenshin), _This man… he's holding the belief of death as he challenges Kenshin. No, even if he wins, he will not continue to live on this world. He's for real this time._

_Live as a warrior, die as a warrior. He's a true barbarian now—when he was fighting Okina from the Aoiya, he probably didn't mean to be gracious. But—this time it's different._

_Kenshin, watch out. It's not just staying true to your promises now. In this battle, it's either you kill him, or he kills you. Yes, if you don't kill him, you'll 100% lose your life!_

Kenshin slammed his pillow into the tiled floor.

"You say that after gaining the title of history's strongest, you can just die? I see what you're after now, Aoshi. Death. **Don't be ridiculous!** It doesn't matter if it's Misao-chan, Okina, Hannya, or the rest of them, not even one of them wants to see 'your death'!

But if you insist on being stubborn, I've got no choice. I'll just fulfill your wishes, and defeat you. I understand that I must win this battle, but just because I understand those four people's (Hannya & co.) tragedy, so deep in my heart I still do not wish to defeat you. But now I understand deeply, this sort of jabbering nonsense I'm speaking is very annoying to you, so from now on, I will fight with all my strength to defeat you.

**But I want you to remember, I'm me, I'm 'Himura Kenshin'!**" 

~* they jabber and chatter on relentlessly, and the authoress is getting tired *~

"Beshimi, Hyottoko, Hannya, Shikijo, right now your heart is as tender as possible, you're not killing for them, you're just pushing the reason you're killing onto them, that's all!" Kenshin shouted.

Aoshi's eyes widened. "Sh…" He punched at Kenshin with his pillow. "SHUT UP!"

Kenshin spat out a glob of blood, "I see you're already frantic. I guess that means that somehow you've already realized this?"

Aoshi hit Kenshin with another uppercut. "What do YOU know?!"

Kenshin took in breath raggedly, "At least…" he faced Aoshi, "I know that the you are now is struggling to use the reason for waving your pillow to hypnotize yourself, to escape reality."

Aoshi, outraged, kicked at Kenshin, sending him back into another bookcase.

Kenshin, still not unnerved, continued, "You're doing this because, if you don't, you'll feel alone, and responsible for the harm you've caused to your friends. This I also know. But, what you're doing now, will not help those four rise into heaven."

Aoshi punched Kenshin again.  
Kenshin leaned against a bookcase, panting, "Aoshi, it's you—no, it's your tenderness that gave all the responsibility to those four people. You've caused those four…to become  evil spirits!"

Aoshi slashed out at Kenshin with his pillow, but Kenshin caught it.

"Did you know, Aoshi—that the one taking up the name of Okashira is Misao. After the battle between you and Okina, she has taken it upon herself to protect the rest of the Oniwa Banshuu." Kenshin said.

"Misao is…" Aoshi answered quietly, "a strong girl. Even though she doesn't like to have fights between the rest of the Oniwa Banshuu, I believe she can lead the Oniwa Banshuu with joy."

"_Oh yeah?"_ Kenshin said, "_Then do you know…when that strong girl heard that I was going to bring you back, giant teardrops began to roll down her cheeks?_

As strong as she is, she's only sixteen. I believe she's still struggling in reality. The only person who can return those tears, the only person in this world, is you, Aoshi."

~* blabber blabber. I put in as much as I could *~

"I still must get rid of this battle to go on to the next. But as for this battle, I have no objections." Kenshin smiled.

Aoshi turned around, his eyes softer.

"Uh-oh Kenshin, his eyes are different than before." Sanosuke smiled nervously.

"Yes, this is my first time seeing it too. This is probably that before Kanryuu, that Okina trusted, that those four admired, and that Misao loved—that Shinomori Aoshi!" Kenshin answered.

Aoshi started towards Kenshin, "It doesn't matter if it's win or lose. No regrets." 

"Yes. This our last battle." Kenshin agreed.

_We only have our full strengths to battle with!_

~* this time I didn't skip anything, the scene just jumped to here *~

Soujiro slid his pillow back into his pillow cover, and asked Shishio, "Shishio-sama, who do you think will win?"

Shishio merely said, "Their strenths are nearly the same, so…"

Houji intervened, "It's best if they both go down. Because that way we can save up a lot on strength."

Soujiro smiled happily, "I hope Himura wins though. I still have that battle from Shintski to clean up! But…if Shinomori wins, what will you do, Shishio-sama?"

Shishio replied, "Well…

"I'd defeat Shinomori, then I'll be the strongest."

~* no skippies here either *~

Kenshin went into his Battoujutsu stance (although in this case he's reaching for his pillow), and Aoshi arms were set out in his Kai Ten Kenbu Loku Len stance. 

Sanosuke once again: _This is Kenshin and Aoshi's real last battle!_

Aoshi this time: _Gomen nasai…Beshimi, Hyottoko, Hannya, Shikijo, although I say I'm doing it for you, I'm actually sinking into oblivion, just using you as a shield. But this time—I'll finish it. No—I'll defeat him for you!_

Sanosuke began to wander around. _Jeez, how long has it been? It's probably only been ten minutes _(ten minutes?!?! I spent at least THIRTY typing this baby up!)_, but it feels like an hour…clock…doesn't this place have a clock…? Clock…_ Sanosuke came upon Yumi, her hand on the telegraph transmitter. She was completely focused on Kenshin and Aoshi that she barely noticed Sanosuke.

Sanosuke yelled in panic, "WATCH OUT KENSHIN! THIS BATTLE, EVERY SECOND OF IT, SHISHIO IS GETTING HOLD OF IT! **DON'T USE THE SECRET TECHNIQUE!!!**"

Aoshi started first. He aimed for the Kenshin's left neck. 

_Kai Ten Kenbu Loku Len!!!_

Kenshin began to unsheathe his pillow.

_SHISHOU: "Between life and death, you've discovered a thirst of life that you can never let go of. Follow that thirst, it will lead you to victory."_

_KAORU-DONO: "It's not just me and Megumi, all of us are praying that you can come back to Tokyo safely so—"_

_The rest, I'll have to rely on my heart. I've got nothing to be afraid of, in this world!_

**_Hiten Mitsurugi Style Secret—_**

**_AMAKAKERU RYU NO HIRAMEKI!_**

Aoshi's trenchcoat was in tatters as he was sent flying thru the air. "This is…" _the secret of Hiten Mitsurugi Style…_

~*~

Houji rushed towards Shishio-sama with enthusiasm, "Shishio-sama, Yumi sent us a telegraph! She said Himura used the secret technique! Aoshi was sent to the sky in tatters, as for the effect on Himura, about this—" Houji flipped to the next page and his eyes widened. "She 'couldn't tell'."

"AhahahaJ" Soujiro laughed. (soooo cute!)

"That useless piece of @#$%!" Houji cursed, going angry SD and ripping the telegraph up. 

"It's not that serious." Shishio said, "Even if Aoshi first uses his Kai Ten Kenbu whatsitsname first, Himura must've reacted faster. In other words, his secret technique is fast, fast to point of super god-like speed." _Of course, he must not have relied on only this, there must be some other secret of the secret technique…_

~*~

Kenshin smiled at the torn Aoshi lying on the floor. "It's another—close call…"

Aoshi gave a huff of breath, then closed his eyes, "This close call, has got to be the closest one I've ever seen…"

A/n- YATTA! I'm done! Alright! Alright~!!!! ::pumps fist in air:: and I did it all in one day! Alright! Alright! ::starts parading around the house until I rush back to my room for fear for my Aaron Carter calendar (my li'l sister might kill him):: as I said, thank ye to all the reviewers! YATTA!!! I'm so happy now!!!  Oops…there's still the Kamatari fight…then Soujiro…then Shishio…aw man… ::droops head:: oh well! ::perks up again:: thanks to Kiki for being a loyal reader!!! YATTA!

Later dayz!

CyberSerpent .~

PS. I forgot all about the trap…now…shhh! Here he comes! Huh? Saito looks a little bit different…oh well! ::pulls string:: ::muffled screams emit from the basket:: 

"WHO THE @#$%!?!?!? LET ME OUT!" 

Huh? ::lifts basket:: Sano! Jeez! This trap was for Saito! Why are you reading Playboy?

"Whaddya expect, I'm a gangster!"

Oh brother… ::kicks Sano away and reassembles Playboy magazines:: here Saito Saito Saito! Here Usui Usui Usui!


	10. Round Eight

Disclaimer- I dun own anythin cept mebbe the plot. Nyeh. :b

A/n- sorry for this being so late, minna-san! But I was sick wif the flu, so couldn't get up and type, but I still hadda go to school! ARGH! Well, onto lighter things…

Oops…you're right, huh. It's Roku Ren, not Loku Len. Mew, CySer no baka baka baka! Oki, now that I have completely wallowed in self-pity, let us see what I have in the trap… (as for the issue of Usui reading Playboy mags, this trap was directed towards the wolf of Mibu, not the Blind Pillowsman, although if they had 3-D Playboys that you can feel—UGH, getting perverted here!!! ;p)

::lifts basket slightly:: Oh my gawd! Saito, you actually fell for it! ::lifts basket slightly:: 

"Whatever, get me OUTTA here, woman!"

Now, now, hang on. ::equips Bishie Ball:: wahahaha! ::throws it at Saito::

"Whuh?"

::Bishie Ball bounces off:: Oro? ::throws Bishie Ball again:: ::Bishie Ball bounces off:: Huh? 

::Yoshiko pops in wearing a scholar getup:: "Allow me to explain." ::picks up Bishie Ball and holds it up in front of readers:: "This certain Bishie Ball is, like all Bishie Balls, equipped for only to capture BISHIES. Bishounens."

"Whuzzat mean, woman?"

::Yoshiko glares at Saito:: "You shut up." ::regainst scholarly posture:: "Okay, anyway, as I was SAYING before this rude person interrupted (glare glare), bishounens are what we call, in America, 'hotties'. Seeing as Saito-sama here is most definitely NOT a hottie, he is classified as a plain ole blab man. Now, to capture HIM, we need these special Man Balls—" ::gets pushed out by CySer::

Whew, getting nasty there, werent we? Well anyway, enuff chattering, on wif da pillow madness! Mrow!

Pillow Grand Pree: ROUND EIGHT 

"Can you stand?" Kenshin's voice echoed throughout the now quiet room.

"Not for the time being." Aoshi replied, staring at the ceiling. "The pain is all over my body, so I'm all numb now.

But, my mind is pretty clear. And my heart is also amazingly content."

Kenshin smiled.

"Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki…no wonder it's called the secret technique. But, if you use it too much, that power-using attack will be sure to exhaust you. And another thing, no matter how strong the attack, if the enemy sees right thru it, it is only half the power." Aoshi said quietly.

"Yes." Kenshin replied knowingly, "I know."

KRRRRRAK 

Sanosuke's fist pounded into the telegraph trasmitter. 

"Alright, that relieved me for a while." He said arrogantly, blowing on his fist.

"Hn!" Yumi sniffed.

Sanosuke turned to Kenshin and yelled, "There's not much time left, Kenshin! Hurry to the next battle!"

Aoshi still remained immobile. "_Go on. I'll be right behind you._"

With that, Sanosuke once again snatched up Yumi and the trio continued on their way.

Iwanbou grinned his evil grin and wiped his pillow-clad hands. "Hoho."

The four Kyoto Oniwa Banshuu members laid crumpled at his feet. Omasu knelt, clutching her bleeding arm. Okon panted heavily for air. The two male comrades were in no better state.

Misao was frantic, "Are you alright?! Minna-san!!!"

"Don't leave your assigned spot, Misao!" Okina called out from the balcony. "Hold on everyone, just a while longer! The cops will come in no time, but for the time being, just HOLD ON!"

The four gave a thumbs-up to that, hurt, but still determined.

A sinister feminine voice chuckled. "Tee-hee…cops?" Kamatari's lips curled up into a baleful smile. "I say…do you think those cops-sama will really come?"

A tall, dark shadow loomed over the police station, which was engulfed by flames.

The police captain was staring at the shadow in complete horror, "M-monster…"

A short, bald old man sat upon the shoulders of the monster, "Wahahaha! What useless rats!" the old man turned to the creature, "I say, Fuji! Shouldn't we be arriving at the Aoiya soon?"

"Well! Let's not fret about other people's worries now, instead, focus on our bout instead, alright?" Kamatari lifted his pillow-scythe out from the ground. "This thing's terribly heavy, m'dear."

"Don't let her provoke you, Misao!" Kaoru said.

"I know, but this thing isn't going to end if this keeps on." Misao answered pertly. "In order to quickly join everyone, I must defeat this pillow-scythe woman!"

(here comes the good part…)

"Pillow-scythe?" Kamatari said. "Woman?" then his lips curled to a knowing smile. "Shucks, you mistunderstood me, I'm…" his hands reached to pull up his kimono.

"**!?!?**" Misao dropped all her kunai as something censored appeared beneath Kamatari's kimono.

"I'm not a pillow-scythe woman, I'm a crossdressing man ;)" 

"**_GYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!_**" 

"What's wrong, Misao?!" Kaoru turned around, sweatdropping.

Misao pointed at Kamatari, already trembling and losing it, "_E-elephant…fuzzy elephant~~~_"

Kamatari smiled, blushing and looking down. _Actually, that was kindov embarrassing._ "Aw, how cute, you're _blushing_! This can't possibly be your first time seeing it?"

Misao clenched her fist, veins popping and still blushing, "Of course not! I remember when I was very small and taking a bath, I saw Okina's! It's just that yours is bigger than Okina's, and surprised me a little bit!"

"That stupid girl…" Okina said, sweatdropping.

"Oh yeah? Is that it? Oh well, we don't really need to discuss this kind of thing anyway!" Kamatari beckoned his finger forward to provoke Misao even more, "Come on, come on! It's time!"

"**I'LL KILL YOU AND RIP YOU TO BITS!**" Misao raged, thrusting her fistful of kunai at Kamatari while Kaoru held her back with her kendo stick, "Calm down, Misao! If you just charge forward like that, it'll be going according to his plan!"

"**What the hell are you guys DOING?!**" Yahiko shouted, his speech bubble knocking Kaoru and Misao down (^^;). "Kaoru, I'll take it from here. You go help Misao! I don't trust her by herself!" Yahiko groused.

"Yahiko!" Kaoru whirled around. "Ah! Hold up! I think _I _should switch with you, and you come to be with Misao!"

Yahiko retorted, "Are the techniques you taught me that bad that I can't even handle something by myself?! If not, then you should trust your own student!"

Kaoru and Misao looked at him incredulously.

"No problem! Two against one is okay with me." Kamatari interjected. "I gotta be a gentleman, after all." 

Kaoru glanced at Okina furtively.

He nodded, indicating: _There's no choice, if you let Misao battle alone under these conditions it ain't gonna be pretty. Just listen to Yahiko for the time being and group with Misao!_

"Alright, I'll believe you this once." Kaoru said reluctantly. "Just don't forget you still have a lot of training from the Kamiya dojo for you to do. If you dare die here, I won't forgive you."

"No problem!" Yahiko said confidently.

"Good!" Kaoru replied. "Here I come! Misao!"

Kamatari watched the approaching duo with a smile in his eyes.

Yahiko faced the bat-like man apprehensively. 

A small puff of air emitted from the man's covered mouth.

"WHAT THE?!" Yahiko went angry-SD, "You just sighed didn't you?! Don't think that I wouldn't notice just 'cuz you're masked!" 

"How can I not sigh?" Hennya replied sullenly. "I'm a member of the infamous Juppon-Gattana, and now look what level I've sunk to: fighting against a little brat. I've heard of the famous Hiten Mitsurugi Style a while ago, the style that gives the user a wind-like flying soar. So I've thought about challenging the Battousai to a bout some time or another." At this Hennya turned around and began to walk off, "And when I heard that Shishio-sama ordered me to come here, I nearly fainted. You guys are just plain weaklings!"

"………" Yahiko didn't say a word, but his expression clearly expressed how P.O.ed he was.

"I, Myoujin Yahiko, am not just a plain ole brat like you said." Yahiko began slowly, putting down his pillow, "and even if I am a brat, you did say that you wanted to have a bout with him…I've been watched Himura Kenshin's battles for a while now…" at this Yahiko gritted his teeth and spat out, "I was the closest to him, and stayed with him the longest*, I can say that I've watched him battle his way here!" Yahiko leaned forward intently and hollered in fury, "A wimp like you, who turns against people and belittles them, can NEVER fight against Kenshin and win! And you're gonna have to beat me first anyway, so why don't you just quit acting so wussy and FIGHT ME?!" 

"Brat…" Hennya glared at Yahiko. "If you really want that much to die, I'll help you. But—" Hennya flung off his cloak and revealed a  grotesquely skinny body with loads of pillow-dynamite** on his cloak, now transformed into a wing-like cape, "I won't kill you with just one strike, I'll torture you nicely, and let you know the consequences of insulting the Juppon-Gattana member 'Hae***' Hennya!"

(*actually, Yahiko WASN'T the one who stayed with Kenshin the longest. It's Kaoru; but I guess it sort of slipped his mind…right? ^^;

**a pillow-dynamite is a pillow actually stuffed with gunpowder and other explosives…not on the market, of course^^; I made it up

***Hae means fly in Japanese, as a verb. This could be right, could be wrong. I have the Chinese version of the manga, and Fae-Shion just doesn't sound right. So I looked in my dictionary and came up with hae. Izzit right? Or izzit wrong? I wouldn't know unless you review and tell me!)

Hennya then plucked out a lit dynamite.

"!!" Yahiko went angry-SD once again, "What are you?! You just said that you'll 'make me regret insulting you', then you pop up with this friggin' trick!  You're just blustering your lips off then! Saying it doesn't mean doing it!"

"Damare! Did I say I'll kill you with one hit?" Hennya dropped the pillow-dynamite. "I'll tell you," there was a huge explosion, and Yahiko was knocked off his feet.

"Owch!" Yahiko sprawled to the ground. He looked upwards—

"This thing is for THIS kind of use!" Hennya was off the ground, flying above Yahiko.

"This is the Juppon-Gattana 'Hae' Hennya's battle strategy, 'Tobimas Sora Kowashimas*'! No matter how skilled you are at your style, the top of your head is the most vulnerable to any human! There's absolutely no way that you can repel my attacks!" 

With each hand he flicked out two pillow-dynamites and threw them to Yahiko.

Yahiko tried to run from the explosion, and it worked—almost. The dynamite also exploded on several of the army of men surrounding the Aoiya, resulting in several shrieks and Kamatari's voice—

"GYYYAH! That _burns_!!!" He screamed as he tried to shake the flame from his glove, "Can you please be more careful???"

Yahiko glowered at Hennya disbelievingly, "You bastard…even if you don't care about that psycho crossdresser—" ("WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!") "—but you oughta have some respect for your men!"

"Little guy do big things***, perhaps you've heard of it?" Hennya said from directly above Yahiko's head. He had one pillow-knife** attached to his left arm, and thus he slashed out at Yahiko across the back.

"Dammit!" Yahiko cursed, and swung out at Hennya with his pillow, but the bat-man had swooshed off once again. 

Hennya dropped another pillow-dynamite, and it almost hit Yahiko too.

_He shrunk his weight to nothing but bones, then he used the wind and the wings to help him levitate in the wind and freely attack from above! _Kaoru thought furiously in her head, "Yahiko!" _At this rate, Yahiko can't defeat him!_

"If you turn your back to me, be careful I slash you in half!" Kamatari smiled from behind Kaoru. "You can scream your lungs out, but in the end you're all gonna die anyway, so why not let him suffer less?"

"Liar!" Misao snapped, and threw four of her kunai at Kamatari.

He caught them all in his hand without harming himself.

Misao's eyes widened. "!!"

Kamatari turned to face the girl, "If you want to come then why don't you both come at once? It'd save a lot of trouble and I _did _offer to fight two-to-one."

"Freakin' bastard!" Yahiko spat, dodging dynamites. _He can see my every move; the top of my head, my every move…if he continues to control the skies, I can never do any damage! But—if the sky I control is higher than his…_ "That stinkin' bat, I bet no one ever did anything to him while in the air, well, in that case… maybe an aerial attack from above would send him tumbling back into the bat cave he crawled out of." Yahiko clenched his fist. "If it was Kenshin, maybe he could use the current of the wind to jump higher than him. But, no matter how light I am, I can't do it in my present state.  If I had something like his wings—no, it doesn't have to be a wing, any substitution would be fine!—glack!" Another bomb had exploded beside his feet, sending him slamming against the wall.

"Alright." Hennya said, "My dynamites are decreasing, now I'll just use this, and everything would be finished." He held up a bundle of pillow-dynamites tied together.

Yahiko gasped. 

"Stop fighting, Yahiko!" Okina yelled from his perch on the balcony. "Hurry back into the Aoiya!"

_Run?_ Yahiko thought briefly. _Who are you kidding! I haven't even made a cut on him! My reason for staying here is in case anything like this ever happened. Even if I can't jump as high as Kenshin, can't knock this guy out with one hit—I still can't just run like this!!!_ "AGH—"

The explosion was deafening, and it blew the bottom half of the Aoiya where Yahiko was standing to smithereens. 

Hennya floated overhead, "Hn! Poor kid. My Tobimas Sora Kowashimas is invincible. He shoulda known better. Hm…I'll use the remainder of the dynamites to blast you guys to hell then."

Kaoru was staring up past Hennya with an incredulous expression. "Yahiko…"

Hennya seemed confused. "!?"

"Got it."

Yahiko was poised on an enflamed door that towered over Hennya in the sky, his pillow in position.

"That brat—" Hennya whirled around, "He used the door as a wing—"

"AGHHHH!!!" Yahiko screamed, and whammed his pillow on Hennya's head. _Imitation—Dragon Hammer Sen!_****

Hennya's eyes whited out and he fell to the ground, KOed.

"Yatta!" Misao cheered, still a bit unsteady.

"Imitation…" Okina said disbelievingly, "training every day, plus listening and watching Himura's battles…it increased his battle skills by at least three…"

Kaoru was shocked. _I never thought…day by day, he already learned Kenshin's trick, the Dragon Hammer Sen…_

"Dammit! That hurted! I never thought about the landing part!" Yahiko grumbled, rubbing his head.

This child…is really getting stronger! 

"I knew it…" Yahiko grinned rather forcibly, "It wasn't as good as Kenshin's."

(*Tobimas Sora Kowashimas means Flying Sky Break—it's the closest I can come to the meaning in the Chinese manga ^^;

**pillow-knife: a pillow with an extremely sharp razor-like edge to it

***little guys do big things is a saying that means that even one little soldier can alter one big war, I suppose

****okay…I'll admit it. I don't knoe much of Kenshin's attack in Japanese. All I knoe is the Sen… and the few attacks I learned is like Kuzu Ryu Sen, Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki, and suchies, but datz all, and so, literally the thing means Dragon Hammer Flash, so I just used the Sen for the sake of it. Me0w.)

A/n- this is the re-uploaded version cuz I forgot a few tidbits in the first one—I forgot to change Yahiko's kendo stick to a pillow, and I forgot to do the "footnotes". So…yeah. Gomen, gomen!

Yosha! It's doneeeee!!! Ooh and this fic is nominated in the Parody/Omake section in RKRC!!! Yayyyy!!! Karina Kineshi's Baby's Got Back, Much Back! is also nominated and I love that ficcy too! *_* made me laugh OUT LOUD every time I read it. Awesome fic, go check it out!!!

Uhmmm…I dink that's all. Sorry this took so long! Oh and the next chapter ish Kamatari vs. Kaoru&Misao! Yay! I can't wait to do my honey's appearance! (Errrr…I like Kamatari, so what? ^_^;)

Later dayz!

CyberSerpent .~


	11. Round Nine

Disclaimer- I wish.

A/n- O_____O minna-san… I'm actually continuing PgP desu! I dunno if anyone will read or review this, but plz, plz do ;_; or I'll cry desu~ ! I want at least five this time D Uhm, if any of you nicesh ppl out dere are concerned over my welfare, dun worry, it wasn't because Saitou and Usui finally got to me that I discontinued this. It was cuz I onlee got a few reviews last chapter ;o; so I got discouraged and yeah… I feel lyke I'm pushing it lots though ;-; so, make meh happi and give meh reviews~~~! D

Uhm, after much consideration, Saitou and Usui have decided to continue hunting meh… more at the end of the ficcie!

Pillow Grand Pree: Round Nine 

"How is this possible…"

"Just one little brat defeated Hennya…" 

Yahiko, though greatly battered and bleeding heavily, stood up and yelled, "Alright! There's only two of 'em left!"

Kaoru and Misao looked on with ecstatic expressions, but it quickly turned to those of horror when Yahiko staggered violently.

"Let's…get them all…at once…" with that he fell heavily to the ground.

"Yahiko!" Kaoru cried out in alarm.

"What did I tell you?" Kamatari chuckled, "You'll all die in the end no matter what." He exchanged eye contact with Kaoru.

"Kaoru!" Misao said, indicating Yahiko.

"Don't worry." Kaoru replied, she hoped she sounded confident, "Yahiko doesn't die that easily. But we have to be careful—because it's our turn now!"

"Hm!" Kamatari advanced slowly, turned his pillow-scythe from one hand to another, "Looks like you're a bit different from that little girl."

"Little gi—" Misao started, become angry-SD again.

Kaoru shoved her hand onto Misao's face, "You're wrong. We're just about the same." 

Misao stifled a "Meep!".

"It's just that I tell myself, when I tie the black belt, and put on the gi, I'm a warrior." Kaoru continued, "And if I'm a warrior, there's no difference of sex. On this meaning, I suppose you're just the same."

"Perhaps." Kamatari replied. "But, if we're talking about skill, there's a big difference."

Kaoru turned back to Misao (who was rubbing her nose), "Misao-chan, look at that person's weapon."

"You mean the pillow scythe, whattabout it?" Misao flicked her nose, making sure it wasn't broken.

"I'd say its weight is probably around forty pounds. One of those mega-heavy pillows." Kaoru continued.

Misao made a face, "How could pillows be that heavy?"

"Stuffed with metal feathers." Kaoru replied matter-of-factly.

"Ah." Misao nodded. 

"Anyhoo," Kaoru went on, "although those mega-heavy pillows cover a lot of ground, it leaves also leaves a lot of space for us to attack. I'll elicit him to attack, forcing him to swing that big pillow. And now you take this chance to attack his most essential part."

Misao murmured, "…his most essential part…ah~gross-out!!!" _It's time fer revenge, e-ha-ha-ha!_

Kamatari grinned," Alright! Enough chitchatting! Bring it on, you two!"

Kaoru attacked first, lunging at Kamatari with her pillow, "It goes without saying, doesn't it?!"

Kamatari only smiled. "HEEYA!" he swung his pillow down.

"Gotcha!" Kaoru stuck her pillow in the ground and jumped up, "NOW! Misao-chan!"

"Got it!!!" Misao jumped forward, _You're dead!_

But then… a ball-shaped pillow stuffed with lead hit Misao right on the ribs. 

"MISAO-CHAN!" Kaoru shouted, screeching to a stop. 

Misao was hurled to the lower roof of the Aoiya, barely conscious. "Ahn…"

Kamatari smirked. "Understanding the weakness of mega-heavy pillow are a plus, and I congratulate you for that. Unfortunately that doesn't work against me. Even though my nickname is Kamatari of the Big Scythe, the ball pillow is actually my real weapon. Its secret is in the way I swing the pillow scythe. Also," Kamatari began to swing the pillow-scythe in rapid, differing strokes.

"There it is!" a soldier exclaimed!

"Kamatari-san's secret attack—Chaos of the Heavens*!" another delcared.

Kamatari looked menacingly at Kaoru, "Everything that this pillow touches will be pounded to death. I'm warning you right here and now, nothing can penetrate this attack.

*Chaos of the Heavens – again, one of CySer's infamous literal translations XD; sorry to all yew Japanese nuts (cuz I'm one too D, whenever I watch anime on DVD, I force everyone who watches with me to watch it in Japanese wif subs, and never, never dubbed D dub ish eville) desu… plz don't throw any more stones at me… XD;

~*meanwhile, w/Misao-chan*~

**Misao…**

_…who is it?_

**Misao!**

Who's voice is it?? 

**Battousai stayed true to his promise. **A visage of Hannya appeared before Misao's eyes. **Aoshi-sama…is coming home.**

Misao blinked…and the image disappeared. _Right… the person that was always taking care of bumbling, follow-Aoshi-sama me, it's Hannya-san… Hannya-san… even at the last of the last* he took care of me, came to see me…_

KRRRRACK! 

Kamatari was swinging at Kaoru with large, side-sweeping strokes.

"Kaoru-san!" Misao cried, then cringed. "Dammit…my ribs…" _I can't fight anymore… but! To tell me this, to tell me to just sit here and watch the Aoiya get destroyed—is impossible! _Misao stood up, her firt full of her pillow-kunai** _But that stance he has… it's really hard to shoot at him from there. So the only place to get him would be—!_ "KAORU-SAN!" Misao yelled, "Aim!!" and with that Misao shot her kunai.

"It's useless." Kamatari smirked. He flung the kunai off with the pole of the pillow-scythe.

Kaoru swung back her pillow—

"I've told you time and time again it's _useless_!" Kamatari grinned and swung upwards, towards Kaoru. But as a result, since Misao's pillow kunai was stuck between the pillow and pillow-scythe, and—

The kunai went right thru the pillow-scythe and did absolutely no damage at all except to pierce a hole in the pillow-scythe.

"Great plan, Misao." Kaoru said sarcastically to Misao up on roof. 

Misao stuck her tongue out, "Let's see you try coming up with something better." 

Kamatari sweatdropped, "This…wasn't exactly in the script, was it, guys?"

Misao shook her head. "Nyope."

Kaoru sighed. "So. Waddya we do?"

Kamatari grabs manga #15 outta hammerspace. "Well, according to this, my pillow-scythe should break, so…" he ripped his pillow scythe in half, splintering metal feathers here and there. "Oh, that wasn't so smart."

Kaoru started laughing hysterically, "Y-you've got a flat pillow now!!"

Kamatari made a face, "Shit." 

Misao grabbed her own manga#15 outta hammerspace, "Uhm, I think it's my turn to say, 'Aoshi-sama's finally coming back, I shouldn't cause more trouble for Hannya-san!' Yeah."

"What the hey?" Kaoru squinted.

"Bad translations by CySer is all." Misao shrugged. 

CySer bursted in, "What the _HEY_ are you guys doing?!?! Go according to the bloody script!" She shook her own manga #15.

Kaoru gasped, "Is this…what they call the fabled SELF-INSERT?! I expected you to be above that, Cy-chan!"

CySer shrugged, "Self-insert's only bad if you made yourself beautiful and glamourous in the fic, but in this case I'm only trying to get these stinking actors to work with me again."

Kamatari, vein popping, "Are you calling _me_ a stinking actor?"

CySer turned on Kamatari and glomped him, "Of _course_ not, honey-poo~!!!"

"You disgust me." Misao "bleaugh"ed. 

Kaoru sighed. "Why are we wasting valuable time here?"

CySer murmured while still coddling a reluctant Kamatari, "Trying to make fic seem longer be all…"

*last of the last – saying lyke, after you die or sumshing similar. 

**pillow kunai – I was stumped fer a while, then decided them to be kunai-shaped pillows D yesh I'm lazy.

~* after a while and some skippings…  *~

Kamatari: _No matter how hard I try, I'll never be as good as Yumi, who spends her nights with men. On the other hand, no matter how hard I train, I'll never beat Soujiro, the best of the Juppon-Gattana. I can't fulfill the best role of either man or woman for Shishio-sama! _"And so to fill my endless longing for Shishio-sama, I must at least perform the task he gave me! I, Kamatari, will sacrifice everything to help Shishio-sama! Don't think you girls can talk me out of this!!!" 

Misao and Kaoru were shocked. "…"

Kamatari stuck his broken (and quite flat) pillow-scythe onto his chains. "Honjou ryu, Happiness Below the Heavens*!" he leapt up, spinning the chain around the scythe.

Kaoru ducked under the spinning pillow and dove for Kamatari's knee. Kamiya Ryu, Agoknee**! The pillow connected with Kamatari's kneecap and…did absolutely nothing once more.

"GAWDS!" Kaoru screamed. "Whoever made this stupid fic up, you oughta think thru yer manga before writing it up!!!"

(a/n- but I do… sniffle sniffle Kaoru-chan sho mean…)

Kamatari sighed, "Uhm, let's just say you suffocated my kneecap with your pillow."

"Yeah! Great thinking!" Kaoru clapped, and did just so. "Uhm, lessee, my line was…" grabs manga #15 outta hammerspace again "Oh yeah!" she cleared her throat, "Gomen nasai. I promised Kenshin…I promised Kenshin that everyone would go back to Kyoto, safe and sound. Please take all your soldiers back to your HQ! We'll wrap up those unable to walk, including you."

"Hn! Who are you kidding?" Kamatari snorted, "Telling me to go see Shishio-sama in this state…" he flipped out a mini-pillow. "I'd rather die." And stuffed the pillow to his face.

Misao wrenched the pillow away from him and smacked him over the head with it. 

"You little…" Kamatari glowered, and toppled onto Kaoru, unconscious.

"Even though I don't really understand the feelings of a crossdresser nor do I really like him, but wanting to help someone you love… that I can get." Misao smiled.

Kaoru looked at Kamatari with soft eyes, "Same here…"

Little Unimportant Soldier #1: …how is this possible…?

Little Unimportant Soldier #2: after Hennya-sama…even Kamatari-sama… how can two of the Juppon-Gattana be defeated in the hands of mere womenfolk and children?

Little Unimportant Soldier #3: D-don't worry everybody! We still have Iwanbou-sama! Iwanbou-sama's still working hard!

Little Unimportant Soldier #4: Iwanbou-sama!

Little Unimportant Soldier #5: Iwanbou-sama!

Iwanbou turned his head, grinng with snot coming outta his nose (o_O;), "Ahuh?"

Little Unimportant SoldierS: O____O; We're dead! We all gotta run! Retreat! everyone runs off

Iwanbou scratched his butt (o_o;), "Oopoo***~" he turned to Omasu and Okon, "Oopoo~" to Shiro and Kuro, "Oopoo~" then turned his head 180 degrees to Kaoru and Misa (who were behind him), "Oopoo~"

Misao and Kaoru: O_O!!!

Misao, freaked out, pointed at Iwanbou, "D-did he just do what I thought he did?"

Kaoru, sweatdropping, "I'm sure it was just a figment of your imagination…"

"Oopoo~" Iwanbou scratched his head, then spazzed out, "OOPOO!!!" and with that he literally "bounced" off.

Omasu and Okon shouted, "Ah! He ran away~!"

Okina smiled, "Don't chase him. We've reached our goal. Minna-san, good work. We've won fair and square."

"Yeah! Victory!" Misao make a V sign.

Just then a giant shadow came over the Aoiya and mousy voice cackled, "I see… so Hennya and Kamatari both failed… Good!" a sword cut thru the Aoiya, and Fuji and a mousy-dude**** appeared before them.

*Happiness Below the Heavens - sigh again, another literal translation. Stone me all you want. I deserve it x_x

**Agoknee – another literal translation and a bad pun at that. XD;

***oopoo – don't ask… that's how they had it in mai manga o_O;

****mousy-dude – I need his name XD; anyone knoes it? 

A/n- haaaaaa. Ish 11:30 pm aite now and ish a school nite. Not good XD; some of yew ppl are asking… is CySer coming back to ff.net? Well, maybe. If ppl are still interested in mai fics, course I'll go on. If no one be interested, CySer be gone again this time for indefinitely ;-;

So if yew want me to stay, review desu!! 

Saitou-Usui issue: since I have moved, I dun dink they can find meh anymore D and plus, I got mai special attack! Mai T-Rex, Spot, will hold them off! and I also have some Chii (Chobits…awesome manga ! CLAMP fans must-read-read!!) figurines I can throw at them if they come any closer… or mai EVA unit 01 figurine, or mai various sets of manga XD; [ooch, the Evangelion artbook has GOTTA hurt XDDD;]

Well… :F boredies. Should I go to sleep? Prolly… hey who's knocking at mai window…? AUGHHHH! SPOOOOTTTTT!!!

Saitou and Usui jump in window and starts hacking everything up

"and THAT's for mai wimpy death!" 

"AKU-SOKU-ZAN!"

NoOOO! NOT MAI FRUITS BASKET DVD!! gasp DROP MAI EXCEL SAGA POSTER NOW, USUI! EEEEKS, NOT KURAPICA! AUGH!! OMIIIII!!! STOPPIT! LEAVE KAMUI ALONE! NO! NOT KURONEKOSAMA~!!! THAT'S EIGHT BUCKS AND A TRIP TO ANIME EXPO, BUDDY! 

Oh yea. Later dayz!!!

CyberSerpent .~


	12. Round Ten

Disclaimer- heh heh heh heorf.

A/n- honto ni, honto ni arigatou gozaimas minna-san!! I actually got more reviews this time!!! ;o; tackleglomps alluv ya domoooo~!! 3 sankyuu to Jason for providing me wif the mousy dude's name ;D sorry, but mai RK manga's in Chinese so… @_@ I dun wanna bother learning all their names over and over again u_u; well, here's round ten! Sankyuu for all yer support minna! Demo.. expect updates to be a little slow this time =_= I'm juggling two websites [http://www.luvux2.dot.nu – LUVU.LUVU, mai main site and http://www.angelfire.com/anime5/prince - mai Yuki Sohma shrine {Fruits Basket} which ish COMPLETE! XD] at the same time and schoolwork's realli piling on the load with a gargantuan science exam looming in the horizon. So… ;o; gomen ne… 

Saito and Usui bust in "GRAWWR—"

CySer: "Away! Cantcha see I'm busy groveling to the readers?!?!"

Saito&Usui: O_O; 

Pillow Grand Pree: Round Ten 

"Can this be…" Okina stared, aghast, at the frightening duo, "the end?"

Shiro, Kuro, Okon, and Omasu all looked down at the ground.

"Nyeh-heh-heh-heh… that's right. Give up. If you're gonna die, at least die nobly eh?" Saitsuchi snickered.

"Dammit!" Misao cursed. _Everyone's black and blue from the previous fight.. and just when, just when Aoshi-sama was coming back too! How were we supposed to know this half-human was to pop up? _She snuck a look at Kaoru, "Kaoru-san…"

Kaoru was staring determinedly at the giant, "I know. I won't ever, ever give up. I promised Kenshin to bring everyone back to Kyoto. Demo…" a sweat dripped down her chin, "this time… I fear… we're done for."

**"WHO SAID SO?!" **

Yahiko staggered up, "It's…" he drew in a haggard breath, "not over yet!" 

"Yahiko!" Kaoru stared, amazed.

"**We can't EVER give up! Not before Kenshin returns!**" Yahiko stormed, still huffing from the effort.

"Yahiko…" Misao gasped.

"Oh my my my. Children are just so hard to please." Saitsuchi sniggered, "He has no full idea of the situation he's gotten into. But, to let him just die without a clue why, is cruel and coldhearted. So allow me to explain."

~* do yew realli wanna hear his explanantion? I thought so *~

"So I'm telling you! YOU'RE HOPELESS! The only route you have is death!" Saitsuchi laughed uproariously.

"Death…so what?" Yahiko retorted. 

Saitsuchi glowered at him.

"Yahiko." Kaoru warned.

"**Do I look like I wanna hear you blathering away like an idiot?! I don't care whatever you say, I'll always believe in KENSHIN!**" Yahiko screamed.

"Arara… today's youth are just so unrealistic. Truly, young man, you mustn't get dreams and reality mixed up. I've already explained everything to you so clearly. And you still don't get it. Forget it." Saitsuchi looked disgusted, "Send him to hell."

Fuji lifted his gargantuan pillow and began to bring it down on Yahiko.

"YAHIKO!" Kaoru shrieked.

_Kenshin! _Yahiko braced himself. _KENSHIN!_

_KRRRRRRACK._

Kaoru crumpled to the floor. "Ya…hiko…" she sobbed.

"Kaoru," Misao, eyes wide, pointed, "look…"

"_Not bad, kid! Well-screamed!_" a red and white cape fluttered in the wind. "To believe in my baka deshi after all that, you, kid, are the winner of this battle."

[imagine a general gasp]

"Who…?" Omasu murmured.

"Hiko! Seijiro Hiko! He's Kenshin's shishou!" Misao blurted happily.

Hiko looked at Yahiko, crumpled at the floor, "What, kid? Are you so relieved after seeing me that you tripped?"

Yahiko went angry-SD, "Look who's talkin', you SHOW-OFF! If you were comin', why didncha come sooner? EH?!"

Hiko patted Yahiko's head and threw him to Kaoru ("Yahiko!"), "If you wanna blame someone, blame my baka deshi. Thanks to him, I had to search all of Kyoto for the Aoiya." 

"Thank you!" Kaoru said, teary-eyed and hugging Yahiko to her chest, "Really… thank you so much!"

Hiko flashed a grin [all femme fans of Hiko, scream!]. He turned to face Fuji. "Alright, let's get started."

Saitsuchi snorted, "So. You're that Battousai's shishou, are you? No wonder you were able to deflect Fuji's sword. But! That's about all you can do, eh?! There's no one in this world that can win Fuji and I!" 

"Ojiisan," Hiko began, "Can you back off? I'm talking to this guy called Fuji here."

"!" Saitsuchi looked shocked. 

"Talking…" Kaoru started.

"With that monster?" Misao shook her head in disbelief.

"That was a good swing there, Fuji-kun." Hiko went on, "The basics of pillow-swinging and such, you've got it all down. All those other sort of monsters, freaks, demons, they can't be lyke that."

"Don't lissen to him, Fuji!" Saitsuchi cried, "All you hafta do is listen to ME!" he went on, pointing his cane at Fuji, "Don't you dare forget who sheltered and helped you when you were being maltreated!"

"DAMN OLD MAN!" Hiko shouted.

"Grk~!" Saitsuchi cringed.

"I'm talking to Fuji-kun here." Hiko gritted his teeth menacingly, "Talk to him *after* I'm done!"

"Kowai…" Misao and Yahiko thought, sweatdropping. 

"Shishou, eh?" Kaoru joined in.

~* skippu~! hiko-sama mainly just talks about fuji's self-worth, vice versa *~

Fuji shed his armor and cried out, "Let us… fight … NORMALLY!!" and charged towards Hiko with his giant pillow. 

The two advanced towards each other at breakneck speed—and froze.

"They stopped…?" Misao blinked.

Kaoru mulled over this, _This position… Fuji's in a tight spot. One single move and he's… _

"I'm …" Fuji grinned, "going to strike!" and gripped his pillow with both hands.

"TWO HANDS!" Yahiko gasped.

"Ohoh!" Saitsuchi cheered, "So you still have one trick up your sleeve! Go get him!"

The pillow went down with devastating force, with a giant FOOMPH and the air knocking everyone down.

"Wai~~" Misao whined, "my butt hurts…"

"Hiko… is he?" Kaoru murmured, staring hard at the big pillow.

There was a tiny lump pushing up thru the pillow. Then there was a RIIIIP and Hiko emerged thru the pillow, triumphant. 

"Ahhh~ I'm in loooove~" Okon and Omasu crooned.

"YEAAAH!" Yahiko cheered. 

Hiko then proceeded…

_Hiten Mitsurugi Style – Kuzu Ryu Sen!!!_

The pillow foomphed over nine parts of Fuji's body and once again did no damage whatsoever.

"Uhm." Fuji bit his lower lip.

"Fall down and faint." Hiko commanded.

"Oh, right." Fuji nodded and fell down heavily.

"Ruthless…" Yahiko sweatdropped.

"That's his one main difference from Himura." Kaoru commented.

"He's dead?" Misao pointed.

"Nah, fainted, remember?" Hiko reminded her.

"Right." Misao nodded.

Next, Hiko turned to Kaoru, "I did what I could. All that's left is to believe in your heart."

Kaoru smiled and nodded. _Kenshin…_

~*~

Kenshin turned around.

"What's wrong?" Sanosuke asked.

"Nothing…" Kenshin replied somewhat uncertainly, "I just thought I heard Kaoru-dono's voice is all…"

Yumi and Sanosuke looked at Kenshin with concern. Then they simultaneously placed their hands on Kenshin's forehead.

"My head feels fine." Kenshin muttered.

"I thought your wounds infected your brain." Sanosuke said, picking up Yumi again as they proceeded running.

"How rude." Kenshin stuck out his tongue. Then turned serious, "But… it was really nice to hear her voice, even if it was only in my head. Aoiya must be fine."

"So optimistic…" Sanosuke grinned.

A/n- waiiiii! *^_^* I'm done! I'm done! XDDD as an apology to y'all, I drew a kenshin in his pillow-totsu pose! ^o^; go to http://www.angelfire.com/anime4/luvux2/pgpkenshin.jpg to see! n_n pose turned out funny and one of his foot's missing too though XD;

ooki ^_^ aite, that's it, minna! ^o^ next is… SOUJIRO!! SOUJIRO!!! SOUJIROOOOO!!! XDD mai looooove~!! 

later dayz!

cyser .~

ps. r+r!!! ^o^


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